Quotes About Food

Memory is a crazy woman who hoards colored rags and throws away food.

Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators.

That's the only dog I know who can smell someone just thinking about food.

It was dog food. Beef livers with onions in a can. You open it up and it looks like vomit.

I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.

A sleeping bag is a tortilla for a human.

Standing in the corridor was a large plastic bin on wheels. He looked inside. Empty tins of dog food. That explained the spaghetti with meat sauce. Oh well, he'd eaten worse.

The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!

I enjoy cooking with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food I'm cooking.

Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just hand you a dinner roll you could kill a musk ox with.

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Incredible to think isn't it, that every single Scotsman, started off as a scotch egg. Old and gingery.

The typical old-fashioned diet (in the nineteenth century) was so bad it almost assembled modern dieting.

I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back, you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

People should just be aware of how they are eating... yesterday I had a McDonald's breakfast and pizza too - but that's bad.

Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! Fry her!! Fry her!"

The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"

Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, "Take that, Lipitor."

I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterwards been, I'm glad I ate that. I'm always like, I'm gonna die.

My kids are funny. They won't eat the heels on a loaf of bread. So I patiently explained to them that they eat rolls, and rolls are all crust, just like heels...and now they won't eat rolls!

Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.