Quotes About Expectations

I play the "Guess Who's on a First Date" game. Which ninety-seven-pound girl is eating her weight in pasta, thinking the best way to ensnare a man is by acting like you're an effortlessly sexy robot who doesn't sweat, poop, diet, or nag?

When a man says you're going to "really be surprised" by a new woman he's dating, he means that for someone so hot they're not a complete dipshit.

Remember, about thirty-six years ago you and I met a girl named _____? She was symmetrical and well spoken. Not only that, but her father owned a chain of liquor stores, and she was reported as conveniently nymphomaniacal. Yet, as I recall, neither you nor I especially wanted her phone number. Maybe she was too wondrously neat, or maybe she was too predictably available, or maybe she gave the impression of being so vastly prized that we couldn't prize her at all.

Don't let young people tell you their aspirations; when they drop them they will drop you

It is the wretchedness of being rich that you have to live with rich people ... To suppose, as we all suppose, that we could be rich and not behave as the rich behave, is like supposing that we could drink all day and stay sober.

College guys are different. They're looking for quality.

Women have to be in the mood for sex. Men have to be breathing.

Dating--the socially accepted alternative to the rack.

Maybe there's no such thing as happily ever after. Maybe okay for now is the best you get.

The great and only comfort about being a woman is that one can always pretend to be more stupid than one is and no one is surprised.

My dog is usually pleased with what I do, because she is not infected with the concept of what I "should" be doing.

Tried to be someone I knew that I wasn't I thought I could make myself happy with you

I feel like, when we're kids, you're sold into this fairy tale of what love is. That Prince Charming's gonna come along and save you and you're gonna live happily ever after. They're gonna rescue me from the Bronx, and we're gonna go off and live in a castle somewhere and it's gonna be awesome. He's gonna love me forever, and I'm gonna love him forever, and it's gonna be real easy. And it's so different than that.

Obviously no parent does everything right. It's this weird thing that happens where you are striving to be as good as you can be so that they turn out well. And that requires that you be a really great, evolved, aware person in every moment. Which is pretty awesome. But it's also putting tremendous pressure on yourself--which is why women feel so guilty!

I am about to be married, and am of course in all the misery of a man in pursuit of happiness.

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands.

What all the wise men promised has not happened, and what all the damned fools said would happen has come to pass.

Consider standing out by being transparent, authentic and professional with a clear message of what you expect from your clients and customers when it comes to the services that require work from them.

You had such promise, Katarina. You were top of your class in mathematics, in chemistry, physics. You won the English essay contest. You were on the honor roll. You could have been anything you wanted, but now you are a maid, cleaning up after other people.

She's always trying to be 'perfect' in this 'perfect' town. She's the one who was so busy being perfect that her husband left her for another—more perfect—woman.

In the real, grown-up world, unicorns were more plentiful than Prince Charmings.

Due to not getting pumped regular, females take the oddest fancies, such as imagining they can think.

Miss, I'm sure lots of women think of running away when men disappoint us. But if all of us was to actually do that, there wouldn't be a woman left in London.

Daddy was real gentle with kids. That's why I expected so much out of marriage, figuring that all men should be steady and pleasant.