Quotes About Expectations

I can't get over this. Dad isn't Sam's dad? Dad is a friend? How was I supposed to know that? People shouldn't be allowed to sign themselves as Dad unless they are your dad. It should be the law.

It's his mother's birthday? But he didn't tell me. I don't have a card. I don't have a gift. How could he do this to me? Men are crap.

This is the trouble with meeting people in real life: They don't come with profiles attached.

I now know exactly why they started the tradition of being apart the night before your wedding. It's nothing about romance, or sex, or being chaste, or whatever. It's so you don't have a row and stomp up the aisle seething at your bridegroom, planning all the home truths you're going to tell him as soon as you get this wedding bit out of the way.

Every time I mention her, Magnus says, Are you two getting along? in raised, hopeful tones, like we're endangered pandas who need to make a baby.

You have no idea what Linus is thinking. It could be good, it could be bad. Most likely, it's nothing at all. He's a boy. You'd better get used to that.

Whoever started the rumor that life has to be perfect is a very wicked person, if you ask me.

I don't believe this. How can he not want to go to the Savoy? God, it's all right for top businessmen, isn't it? Free champagne, yawn, yawn. Goody bags, yet another party, yawn, how tedious and dull.

There are some things I don't understand about Jess and never will. No wedding dress. No flowers. No photo album. No champagne. The only thing she got out of her wedding was a husband. (I mean, obviously the husband is the main point when you get married. Absolutely. That goes without saying. But still, not even a new pair of shoes?)

Just because of that one disastrous blind date she had last year, where the guy turned out to be fifty-nine, not thirty-nine (He claimed it was a typo. Yeah, I'm sure his finger just happened to slip two spaces to the left).

No wife wants to hear that her husband is less than perfect.

You keep saying 'I'm fine' to people when you're not fine. You think you should be fine. You keep saying to yourself: 'Why aren't I fine?

My parents watch too many soap operas, that's their trouble. In fact, they were probably hoping I was pregnant. By my wicked married lover whom they could then murder and bury under the patio.

I thought marriage was for ever. I really did. I thought Luke and I would grow old and grey together. Or at least, old. (I'm not intending to go grey, ever...)

Except that stopping mid-sentence is the worst thing people can do. It's, like, totally passive aggressive, because you can't take issue with anything they've said. You have to take issue with what you think they were going to say.

Whoever started the rumor that life has to be perfect is a very wicked person, if you ask me. Of course it's not!

And anyway, who defines "real life"? Who says "real life" is property ladders and hideous pearl earrings? "Shit-boring tedious life," more like.

God, real people are so disappointing. I'm sure she would have done it better in the box-set version.

He said that he and Mum had often talked about the kind of man I would marry, and they'd always disagreed on everything except one thing - he'll have to be on his toes. Then he looked at Luke, who obligingly got up and turned a pirouette, and everyone roared with laughter.

This is the trouble with meeting people in real life: they don't come with profiles attached.

A break from what? Until that moment we'd been fine. So clearly what he needed a break from was the risk of hearing the word "marriage" again.

You keep saying "I'm fine" to people when you're not fine. You think you should be fine. You keep saying to yourself: "Why aren't I fine?

No one's life has to be perfect... Don't put so much pressure on yourself... Whoever started the rumor that life has to be perfect is a very wicked person, if you ask me. Of course it's not!

Oh God, maybe there's something wrong with me. I'm missing the gene which makes you grow up and buy a flat in Streatham and start visiting Homebase every weekend. Everyone's moving on without me, into a world I don't understand.