Quotes About Expectations

The most bitter thing for a child is to see in another just the kind of son his mother deserved

I was meant to date the captain of the football team, I was going to be on a romantic excursion every Saturday night, I was destined to be collecting corsages from every boy in town before prom, accepting such floral offerings like competing sacrifices to a Delphic goddess.

Pick a man, any man. Every guy I fall for becomes Jesus Christ within the first twenty-four hours of our relationship. I know that this happens, I see it happening, I even feel myself, sometimes, standing at some temporal crossroads, some distinct moment at which I can walk away and keep it from happening, but I never do. I grab at everything, I end up with nothing, and then I feel bereft. I mourn for the loss of something I never even had.

I sometimes think God must be a woman--He is expected to forgive so much.

Flying lessons? That's not very wifely.

The way Hollywood portrays mothers - you're either all good and saint-like, or you're all bad. And I think the real honesty of motherhood is not given a voice in movies. I miss that as an audience member.

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

When we were growing up our parents somehow made it clear that being famous was good. And I mistakenly thought that if I was famous then everyone would love me.

The first time probably people really were aware of me, I unfortunately had the title of Showtime's Funniest Person in America. And that's a really tough title to travel around with when you're not even known.

I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.

there are a lot of self-righteous people out there. And if you try to adjust your life to please them...you're just going to go crazy and risk being as unhappy as these self-righteous kooks are.

Why must women wake up and paint their faces? Who came up with this idea? What's wrong with washing and moisturizing? So, if you care to wear make-up, go right ahead. No one's stopping you. I only suggest reconsidering. Is it totally necessary?

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.

Friends and colleagues meet halfway. Men (real men) pick up women at their apartments or offices for dates.

Men want to feel like they are dating a model or celebrity, so look like one!

treat the men we wanted like the men we didn't want.

He who demands little gets it.

Grandpa says we've got everything to make us happy but happiness.

The whole younger generation looks to me like a sum that doesn't add up.' Lavinia

We criticize mothers for closeness. We criticize fathers for distance. How many of us have expected less from our fathers and appreciated what they gave us more? How many of us always let them off the hook?

The central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children outweigh our fears.

The central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children ourweigh our fears

it's the fear that their creative endeavors won't live up to some external standard that keeps them from living a more creative life.