Quotes About Expectations

See the child you have," as the saying goes, "not the child you wish you had." In the end, I agreed with Michel de Montaigne: "The least strained and most natural ways of the soul are the most beautiful; the best occupations are the least forced.

Feeling right" is about living the life that's right for you—in occupation, location, marital status, and so on. It's also about virtue: doing your duty, living up to the expectations you set for yourself. For some people, "feeling right" can also include less elevated considerations: achieving a certain job status or material standard of living.

Upholders-tipped-to-Obligers have a commitment to both inner and outer expectations, for them, the pull of outer expectations is very hard to ignore; UPHOLDER/Obligers must be sure to articulate inner expectations and to create boundaries to protect inner expectations from outer interference.

When you give up expecting a spouse to change (within reason), you lessen anger and resentment, and that creates a more loving atmosphere in a marriage.

Upholders may struggle in situations where expectations aren't clear or the rules aren't established. They may feel compelled to meet expectations, even ones that seem pointless. They may feel uneasy when they know they're breaking the rules, even unnecessary rules, unless they work out a powerful justification to do so.

as always, Upholders must make sure to articulate their inner expectations.

Upholder, I see its dark side, too

I pegged her as a highly considerate UPHOLDER/Obliger. She's able to meet inner expectations without outer accountability, but only when outer expectations don't interfere.

Obligers may find it difficult to form a habit, because often we undertake habits for our own benefit, and Obligers do things more easily for others than for themselves. For them, the key is external accountability.

Audiences = expectations. If he thinks you're not watching, he won't need to rebel against your expectations.

Some habits become completely automatic; others require some effort, always. What matters is to be moving in the right direction. There's a great satisfaction in knowing that we've made good use of our days, that we've lived up to our expectations of ourselves. The true aim is not to break bad habits, but to outgrow them. With the bright light of attention, we can recognize and acknowledge them, and leave them behind.

When Obligers have the external accountability they need to meet their inner expectations, they don't experience any sense of limitation or self-frustration—and of course many environments, such as the workplace, tend to supply lots of accountability. When what others expect from Obligers is what they expect from themselves, they have the life they want.

when we give more to ourselves, we can ask more of ourselves.

SUMMARY: UPHOLDER LIKELY STRENGTHS: Self-starter Self-motivated Conscientious Reliable Thorough Sticks to a schedule Eager to understand and meet expectations

One study showed that children who got a reward for coloring with magic markers—an activity that children love—didn't spend as much time with markers, later, as children who didn't expect a reward. The children began to think, "Why would I color if I don't get a reward?

For people managing Upholders, it's helpful to remember that because they hate to fail to meet an expectation, they may find it hard to set priorities—all expectations seem equally important. To counter this, a boss or colleague should make priorities clear: "Usually I want that report every Friday, but when the annual report is due, it's okay to put off the weekly report while we finish the annual report. The annual report is more important.

When we give more to ourselves, we can ask more from ourselves.

See the child you have," as the saying goes, "not the child you wish you had.

Obligers, however, often dislike their Tendency. They're vexed by the fact that they can meet others' expectations, but not their expectations for themselves.

Upholders respond readily to both outer expectations and inner expectations. Questioners question all expectations, and will meet an expectation only if they believe it's justified. Obligers respond readily to outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations (my friend on the track team). Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike.

The public wants work which flatters its illusions.

Of all the icy blasts that blow on love, a request for money is the most chilling.

My life which I dream will be so beautiful, so poetic, so vast, so filled with love will turn out to be like everybody else's - monotonous, sensible, stupid.

Prima di sposarsi, Emma aveva creduto di essere innamorata, ma la felicità che avrebbe dovuto nascere da questo amore non esisteva, ed ella pensava ormai di essersi sbagliata. Cercava ora di capire cosa volessero dire realmente le parole felicità, passione, ebbrezza, che le erano sembrate così belle nei libri.