Quotes About Wisdom

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late.

I may not know much, but I know the difference between chicken sh.. and chicken salad.

Weve all met people who are supposedly incredibly intelligent but dont know which way to sit on a lavatory.

There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.

Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much.

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

When our memories outweigh our dreams, we have grown old.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.

All diseases run into one, old age.

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.

It takes a long time to become young.

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.

To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old.