Quotes About Emotional intelligence

No. Shame and self-esteem are very different issues. We feel shame. We think self-esteem.

We are hard on others because we're hard on ourselves. That's exactly how judgment works.

empathy requires some vulnerability, and we risk getting back a "mind your own damn business" look, but it's worth it.

We cannot give our children what we don't have.

understanding emotion can be a life raft in a sea of turbulent feelings.

Another thing I repeat to myself, particularly when I'm sitting across from, or with, someone who does not have great feedback delivery skills, is "There's something valuable here, there's something valuable here.

lean into the discomfort that comes with straddling compassion and boundaries

What surprised me the most when I was growing up was how little other people seemed to understand or even think about the connection between feelings, thinking, and behavior. I remember often thinking, Oh, God. Do you not see this coming? I didn't feel smarter or better, just weirder and pained by the amount of hurt that we are capable of causing one another. The observation powers were partly survival and partly how I'm wired.

Without understanding how our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors work together, it's almost impossible to find our way back to ourselves and each other. When we don't understand how our emotions shape our thoughts and decisions, we become disembodied from our own experiences and disconnected from each other.

empathy is the strongest antidote for shame. It's not just about having our needs for empathy met; shame resilience requires us to be able to respond empathically to others.

I'm not suggesting that we worry about worry, but it's helpful to recognize that worrying is not a helpful coping mechanism, that we absolutely can learn how to control it, and that rather than suppressing worry, we need to dig into and address the emotion driving the thinking.

Cruelty is cheap, easy, and chicken shit

empathy is best understood as a skill because being empathic, or having the capacity to show empathy, is not a quality that is innate or intuitive. We might be naturally sensitive to others, but there is more to empathy than sensitivity.

we're intentionally or unintentionally creating cultures that, instead of leveraging the unique gifts of the human heart like vulnerability, empathy, and emotional literacy, are trying to lock those gifts away.

If we find ourselves addressing the same problematic behaviors over and over, we may need to dig deeper to the thinking and feeling driving those behaviors.

The goal is to get to the place where we can think, I am aware of what's happening, the part I play, and how I can make it better, and that doesn't mean I have to deny the joy in my life.

When we stop numbing and start feeling and learning again, we have to reevaluate everything, especially how to choose loving ourselves over making other people comfortable.

In the past, jobs were about muscles, now they're about brains, but in the future they'll be about the heart. —MINOUCHE SHAFIK, director, London School of Economics

In the past, jobs were about muscles, now they're about brains, but in the future they'll be about the heart.1 —MINOUCHE SHAFIK, director, London School of Economics

Hope is not an emotion: It's a cognitive process—a thought process made up of what researcher C. R. Snyder called the trilogy of "goals, pathways, and agency.

Laura's courage is acknowledging hurt without running from it, and my courage is acknowledging hurt and not hurting back. We also agreed that cruelty is never brave

We use shame as a tool to parent, teach and discipline our children.

Recognize emotion, and get curious about our feelings and how they connect with the way we think and behave.

Gottman's work on marriages, he was able to predict an outcome of divorce with 90 percent accuracy based on responses to a series of questions. His team screened for what he called the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse—criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt, with contempt being the most damning in a romantic partnership.