Quotes About Absurdity

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

Holy Zarquon, did I ask for an existentialist elevator?

One of Zaphod's heads looked away. The other turned round to see what the first was looking at, but it wasn't looking at anything very much.

So after a hectic week of believing that war was peace, that good was bad, that the moon was made of blue cheese, and that God needed a lot of money sent to a certain box number, the Monk started to believe that 35 percent of all tables were hermaphrodites, and then broke down.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy skips lightly over academic abstraction, pausing only to note that the term future perfect has been abandoned since it was discovered not to be.

A hole had just appeared in the Galaxy. It was exactly a nothingth of a second long, a nothingth of an inch wide, and quite a lot of millions of light-years from end to end.

I thought you must be dead …" he said simply. "So did I for a while," said Ford, "and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. I kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic.

What's up?" "I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there.

Life, will be a very great deal less weird without you!

It seemed to me, said Wonko the sane, that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a packet of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.

I've had the sort of day that would make Saint Francis of Assisi kick babies.

During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off.

The Electric Monk's day was going tremendously well and he broke into an excited gallop. That is to say that, excitedly, he spurred his horse to a gallop and, unexcitedly, his horse broke into it.

If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it's vitally important you get away before your phone bill arrives.

I don't believe there's a horse in your bathroom.

The whole Poghril tribe had died out from famine except for one last man who died of cholesterol poisoning some weeks later.

I suppose you'll want to see the aliens now," he said. "Do you want me to sit in a corner and rust, or just fall apart where I'm standing?

This sentence is not true

Sorry, can I interrupt you a moment, Peter, and say that the sofa has just vanished.' 'So it has. Well, that's one mystery less.

Never throw the letter Q into a privet bush.

Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is.

Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.

He almost danced to the fridge, found the three least hairy things in it, put them on a plate and watched them intently for two minutes. Since they made no attempt to move within that time he called them breakfast and ate them.

computer chattered to itself in alarm as it noticed an airlock open and close itself for no apparent reason. This was because reason was in fact out to lunch.