Quotes About Wordplay

Branch Bacardi, star of The Da Vinci Load, To Drill a Mockingbird, The Postman Always Cums Twice, Chitty Chitty Gang Bang, The Twilight Bone, A Tale of Two Titties...

We wouldn't eat an important person like you. Sometimes we'll take a sailor, but — He shrugged. — so would you if it was always fish.

I liked, as I like still, to make words look self-conscious and foolish, to bind them by mock marriage of a pun, to turn them inside out, to come upon them unawares. What is this jest in majesty? This ass in passion? How do god and devil combine to form a live dog?

your asses at Scrabble. Who's up for an ass-kicking?" Lindsay

Hawkeye: I brought a book over. Roberts: What book? Hawkeye: The dictionary. I figure it's got all the other books in it.

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

A pun is a short quip followed by a long groan.

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs — they always take them literally.

People who make puns are like wanton boys that put coppers on the railroad tracks. They amuse themselves and other children, but their little trick may upset a freight train of conversation for the sake of a battered witticism.

I'm an incorrigible punster. Do not incorrige me.

I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home." Groucho Marx was never one to pass up an opportunity for a play on words and this occurs in his dialogue of the 1933 film Duck Soup:

Puns are a form of humor with words.

Dammad and Groany, into her limited (tuff, tuff, que tu es pitre!) lapse at the same slapse for towelling ends in their dolightful Sexsex home, (...)

If Dann's dane, Ann's dirty, if he's plane she's purty, if he's fane, she's flirty, with her auburnt streams, and her coy cajoleries, and her dabblin drolleries, for to rouse his rudderup, or to drench his dreams. If hot Hammurabi, or cowld Clesiastes, could espy her pranklings, they'd burst bounds agin, and renounce their ruings, and denounce their doings, for river and iver, and a night. Amin !

what you would get if you ran a mime over with a steamroller? A silent film.

I always told people Alabama was the smartest state because it has four As and a B.

And for those playing along at home, we have a new number one for the oxymoron files: death benefits.

Perhaps you'd care for a synonym bun, suggested the duke.

How about this: What's black and white and red all over? I cant begin to think. Trotsky in a tuxedo.

Actually now I'm remembering that the goodbye chow isn't spelled that way. It's ciao or something weird like that. It's Italian, right? But I'm not an Italian gypsy, I'm a hungry gypsy. So spelling it chow makes total sense.)

Il re Luigi II? Beh, sottraendo Luigi XIV da Luigi XVI, si ha Luigi II! Ah, no? Diavolo! Mi pareva una risposta niente male!

I invented a new word today: plagiarism.

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent. I, for one, like Roman numerals. Yesterday, a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester. Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover? Because you shouldn't press your luck.

Did you ever notice: when you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS"?