Quotes About Expectation

False hope is better than no hope at all.

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.

People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.

The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off.

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.

You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles!

I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.

No one in the world gets what they want and that is beautiful.

When I appear in public, people expect me to neigh, grind my teeth, paw the ground and swish my tail - none of which is easy.

She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.

Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.

I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

I bought myself a parrot, but it did not say "I'm hungry", and so it died.

I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.

Expect not praise without envy until you are dead.

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'

Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?

My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, 'pregnant.'

Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner."