Quotes About Relationship

At the top of the list of what makes a successful marriage, is a sense of humor.

It's not that I want you to go, it's just that I don't want you to stay." - China Sorrows -

I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce." I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

If you're right & I'm not, I'm going to be hell to live with, she said. So, you better think about that next time you want to be right.

My girlfriend works at Hooters. In the kitchen.

She gave me another of those long keen looks, and I could see that she was again asking herself if her favourite nephew wasn't steeped to the tonsils in the juice of the grape.

My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.

My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds.

There's only one thing wrong with my wife's face - it shows.

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

Before we got engaged, he never farted. Now it's a second language.

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

it's dreadful when two people's senses of humor are antagonistic. I don't believe there's any bridging that gulf!

2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"

If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.

My husband is very funny and his humor has gotten us through a lot. He's good at defusing me.

Dear 338171 (May I call you 338?)

Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse.

Meg and Belch only had eyes for each other. Not in the usual romantic sense.

Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this." - Morelli

A wedding is no way to begin a marriage.

If you didn't have me to rake you over the coals now and then, there wouldn't be any fire in your life at all.