Quotes About Collaboration

But feedback is not simply a thing the giver hands you and you receive. The two of you are building a puzzle—together.

I appreciate that. I'm feeling bad too. Let's retrace our steps and think about how this happened. I suspect we may each have contributed to the problem. From your point of view, did I do anything differently this time?

That's Systems Insight Number Two: Each of us sees only part of the problem (the part the other person is contributing). Systems Insight Number One is this: Each of us is part of the problem. Maybe not to the same extent, but we're both involved, each affecting the other.

Sometimes people have honest disagreements, but even so, the most useful question is not "Who's right?" but "Now that we really understand each other, what's a good way to manage this problem?

You can establish an evaluation-free zone by respecting the following guidelines: share pure feelings (without judgments, attributions, or blame); save problem-solving until later; and don't monopolize.

So you might say to your boss, "I know there are lots of factors you have to take into consideration, and at the end of the day, I'm onboard with whatever you decide. I just want to make sure that as you think about it, you are aware that. . . .

People do sometimes worry that we are about to put someone's "face" at risk, but then visibly relax as they realize that we have put a joint problem on the table (from the third story, of course) with no hint of the blame frame.

We Think They Are the Problem

I've described the problem in a way we can each accept. Now I want to propose mutual understanding and problem-solving as purposes, check to see if this makes sense to you, and invite you to join me in a conversation.

Can you help me understand . . . ?" you offer the role of advisor. "Let's work on how we might . . . ." invites a partnership. "I wonder whether it's possible to . . . ." throws out a challenge, one which offers the other person the potential role of hero.

I wonder if we can work to find a creative way to meet both interests here. What do you think? Are you willing to try?

Generally the best way to manage conflict in a way that safeguards a relationship is to look for standards or fair principles to guide a resolution, rather than trying to haggle with or intimidate the other person.

The Principle of Mutual Caretaking. One dynamic to remember at this stage of a difficult conversation is the tendency we all have to believe that our way of doing things is the "right" way. This can lead us to ascribe the problem to something wrong with "the way they are," and to suggest a "solution" that boils down to doing it our way: "If you would just change, there wouldn't be a problem.

Problem-Solving Together Given what you and the other person have each learned, what would improve the situation going forward? Can you brainstorm creative ways to satisfy both of your needs? Where your needs conflict, can you use equitable standards to ensure a fair and workable way to resolve the conflict?

Most conversations can be initiated from the Third Story to include both perspectives and invite joint exploration.

Contribution Is About Understanding, and Looks Forward

Just as "good fences make good neighbors," clear delineations of responsibility can prevent the kind of turf battles that break down staff relationships.

We cannot do it without Him. He will not do it without us.

It takes three to make a child.

Becoming a team didn't mean the end of their arguments. But it did mean that the arguments became a part of the adventure, became discussions not threats. To an outsider the arguments would appear to be the same because feeling like part of a team is something that happens invisibly. You might call it caring. You could even call it love.

El que enseña y el enseñado crean la enseñanza juntos".

There is an Eastern saying: "The teacher and the taught together create the teaching.

How easily men could make things much better than they are – if they only all tried together!' Winston Churchill, 1909

Society is indeed a contract. ... It is a partnership in all science; a partnership in all art; a partnership in every virtue, and in all perfection.