Quotes About Reflection

My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there.

The reason I drink is because when I'm sober I think I'm Eddie Fisher.

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

It's funny looking at yourself. You know how it is when you look back at old pictures? It's just funny looking back at yourself walking and talking at age 14

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

How can I lose to such an idiot?

Sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug.

You don't realize how easy this game is until you get up in that broadcasting booth.

I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

A cigar has "...a fire at one end and a fool at the other."

My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.

I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

To get over my divorce, I got a prescription to live at the Playboy Mansion for a while.

You have to master not only the art of listening to your head, you must also master listening to your heart and listening to your gut.

I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them.

Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'

Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are

Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug.

I have been laid up with intentional flu.

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.