Quotes About Reflection

Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.

I have everything I had twenty years ago, only its all a little bit lower.

Age attacks when we least expect it.

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice!

When I'm stalking my exes on Facebook, sometimes I think, 'I should have never let her go.'...but most times I think, 'She really let herself go.'

I thought of you today. I saw a cockroach and you crossed my mind. I stepped on it.

X's and O's for my ex's and hoes.

All I want for my birthday is another birthday.

Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so.

Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

I DON'T have EX's! I have Y's. Like 'Y the hell did I date you?!'

It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? These are all days you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's, boom! There's Valentine's Day. I think there should be one more after Valentine's Day just called, 'Who could love you?'

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

If you think Independence Day is Americas defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title, hands-down.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

Burn your computer. Blow up your TV. Bludgeon your cell phone. Breathe deeply. This, my friends, is the secret to inner-peace.

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started.

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex. In fact, I just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street.

There has been only one Christmas the rest are anniversaries.

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.

When a man is tired of life on his 21st birthday it indicates that he is rather tired of something in himself.

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.