Quotes About Eoin Colfer

Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?

Can we please focus? We are supposed to be professionals. Holly said. Not me! said Orion cheerily, I'm just a Teenager with hormones running wild and may I say, young fairy lady, they're running wild in your direction.

If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.

I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.

to Foaly) Captain Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with your face!

What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?

So, what did you get for me? Angeline paused for a beat. Jeans. What? croaked Artemis. And a T-shirt.

He threw his head back and sang, 'I am a centaur, yes, a centaur is what I am.' It's not like you to wax, Artemis Foaly is singing, said Holly. Surely that's illegal?

Remember this? You gave it to me for ensuring your trigger finger got reattached to your hand. You said it would remind me of that spark of decency inside me. I'm trying to do something decent now, Captain.

The next minute or so was spent howling on the ceiling . Imp No.1 joined in, but he wasn't really feeling it. It shouldn't be Who do we hate?, he thought, it really should be whom, but this probably wasn't a good time to bring that up.

Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.

about Dr. Po) Just another quack spouting psychobabble.

Vinyaya was being openly antagonistic, and that was an emotion that could be trusted, unless of course it was a bluff and the commander was a secret fan of his, unless it was a double bluff and she really did feel antagonistic.

Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity? Artemis blinked. Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.

Satan was crouched in the corner of his office, playing a gameboy, 'Die alien scum' he was saying feverishly..

That was all he said, except for Aaaeerrgghhh. Which is not really a word. But the reason that he screamed Aaaeerrgghhh was that Franco had bitten him savegly on the wrist.

Don't you worry about that, Mr. Adamsson. Why don't you head back to Reykjavik and spend some of that extortionate fee you charged me for a couple of hours' usage of your frankly third-rate restaurant and perhaps find a friendless tree stump to listen to your woes?

Root stood on the doorstep, palms up, the universal gesture for Look, I'm not carrying a big murderous weapon.

She ran a quick search on Wicca-pedia and came across a brief summary:

Butler had an excuse for not being in Iceland that would hold up in any court of law and possibly even on a note for teacher.

Swear toads infested every damp patch, cursing like sailors.

The cow spat. "What are you going to do? Not eat me?" "That's right. I won't eat you and I won't eat your entire family. Wherever they hide, I'll find them and not eat a single bite.

It was impressive, but, pretty much like the man with the exploding head, it was a one-time trick. When

Indeed," shrieked Cryer. "Indeed, and surely I do raise it, for the Witchfinder himself, who cleansed our town not a year since, made a point of it on several occasions.