Quotes About Christmas

Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ

You know you''re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.

Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.

There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmas time. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska wont make it white.

Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.

There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas.' ROBERT WILSON LYND

This Christmas will be dramatically different for most of us from our Christmases past. But the comfort of reading is a constant. It's a salve for isolation and a haven when we need to escape into someone else's imagination.

Christmas Eve, I give him packages which I open for him, since the bows and paper represent more labor than he could manage: music videos by the Nashville singers he thinks particularly sexy, fleece-lined slippers decorated with images of bacon and eggs, and a book about breeds of dogs. He says he wishes he had something for me to open, but I don't want anything except to have him here. There's nothing more he could give me than his life, right now, his being with me.

Most murders are committed by someone who is known to the victim. In fact, you are most likely to be murdered by a member of your own family on Christmas day.

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.

All New Years is to me is for taking down your dumb Christmas decorations. People who put up Christmas decorations, all they're saying is, 'Hey, we're not Jews.'

What does Christmas mean if we can't encourage small children to sit on a stranger's lap?

Somebody, my daughter or my wife, gave me a music box for Christmas. It plays "My Funny Valentine" on celeste, you know? So I had Bobby [Irving] just play "Jean Pierre" with the changes on celeste.

My son has a big Christmas problem - what do you buy for a father who has everything and you're using it?

Last Christmas someone stole my present. I've spent this year living in the past.

There is no real bravery in getting paid to save someone's life. However, there is a large amount of bravery in a nurse break dancing at the hospital's Christmas party.

It's a Christmas miracle. I had no tree. Now I have a forest.

Christmas without a murder plot is like a day without giant spiders eaten orphans" (quote on my special gift holiday mugs)

I think 'Elf' is funny, with Will Ferrell. That's a great Christmas movie.