Quotes About Jokes

This is why idiots like Bill Maher can make jokes like this (about the 2010 Republican sweep of Congress)—"I haven't seen Republicans so happy about taking seats since they made Rosa Parks stand up."25 When Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat, the mayor of Montgomery enforcing segregation on the buses was—of course—a segregationist Democrat, William A. "Tacky" Gayle.26

Why did Mr. Stupid tiptoe past the medicine chest?" shrieked Claire. "Because he didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills!" she answered herself.

Clearing the Brie from someone's arteries?" I said. I thought Seth and Mommy were going to fall over laughing. "Debris is stuff that's blown into the street. And that's what they mean by arteries — streets.

Never use naughtiness in mixed company, unless your witticism is so funny that your audience will shoot tears of happiness out of their eyes with a velocity sufficient to powerwash a small bus. Any joke that falls short of that standard will make you lose respect in the eyes of everyone except your best friends, who, as you know, lost respect for you long ago.

The human butt is the single funniest thing in the known universe. This is undisputed.

It wasn't that funny, but I laughed. There wouldn't be much laughter in the world if people didn't like each other, because there sure as shit aren't that many good jokes.

A friend of mine jokes that I have a painstaking royalty complex. Like maybe I was a duke in a past life.

I've been doing pranks my whole life, so I guess I'm pretty good at it.

Or, when we feel most insecure, we act flamboyantly or make crazy jokes to ensure that everyone's attention is on us.

It is depressing to hear the unfortunate or dying man jest.

A person should not crack jokes regularly until he is making money out of it like any comedian, else most people around him are most likely to treat him like a mentally CRACK only

The difference between a comedian and a politician is that a comedian cracks jokes often on oneself to make the audience laugh and in return earns some money, whereas a politician cracks jokes often on ordinary population to make their life miserable & oneself laugh only and also sneakily takes out lots of money from their pockets

The truth of life is hidden in all jokes that invoke the stroke of laughter of most people.

There are more jokes in the media news than in the comedy shows.

Shall I crack any of those old jokes, master, At which the audience never fail to laugh

On the airplane, Sly and I were smoking stogies and constantly trading jokes. We never talked about the feud. We were typical guys, totally in denial, as if there had never been any problem and nothing had ever happened.

Where was I headed? I didn't quite know. I had talent, facility, and a desire to produce-but steadily my market was diminishing. I fell back on illustrated jokes, and even here struck a snag. Tramps were no longer so funny to me as they had been. And my attitude toward the farmer had changed-I no longer wanted to depict him as a mere comic character. His life was all too often bound up with tragedy. The Populists had been right in many of the things they had said about the farmer's plight.

I adore 'Broad City,' but the one Latino is queer for jokes. You see queerness of Latinos in this emasculated with an accent or fez on a set '70s show. It's always like, 'Ha, ha, funny emasculated immigrants.'

I don't have a very quick sense of humor.

If you have doubts about someone, lay on a couple of jokes. If he doesn't find anything funny, your radar should be screaming. Then I would say be patient with people who are negative, because they're really having a hard time.

It just seems to me that there's no particular reason comedy albums should be dead. There's a lot to laugh at. We have very funny people, still.

It is rare for a joke to emerge fully formed and it is worth grafting away until it is absolutely right. Though perversely too much work, too much thought, can destroy a gag completely.

The international launch of 'Undeniable' is special because now fans all across the globe can laugh along to some of the funniest jokes in history.

Furious protesters don't come after you for jokes at the expense of people; they come after you for jokes at the expense of their gods.