Quotes About Jokes

Awkwardness is such a gold mine for comedy.

I wish I had the ability to crack wise, generally. You know, without getting punched. There's no way I could do it while getting beaten up. Definitely.

My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs.

Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.

I've always tended to write comedy, but I'd hate to just write some kind of sitcom or a lighthearted series of jokes and slapstick. I wanted to talk about some deeper things within the comedy.

I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'd already been banned from a couple churches for my jokes. So one day I woke up and decided it was time to start living for myself.

I'm a take-no-prisoners type of comic, and I'm lucky because my fans get me and never have a problem with the politically incorrect themes of my act. But I am continually amazed by how a certain section of our society seems to be so freakin' sensitive about jokes.

I was a very bad accountant. I knew the book theory, but I didn't have the heart for it. I did it for six months, and my job was to distract the auditors with jokes.

Evolution has programmed our brains to find two things particularly interesting, and therefore memorable: jokes and sex - and especially, it seems, jokes about sex.

I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show.

Eats, Shoots & Leaves

Knock Knock Jokes

I'm the type of person that likes to give people a hard time, and I enjoy doing little pranks. If I see someone getting a little aroused I have to keep pushing that button.

I may make jokes about Microsoft at times, but at the same time, I think the Microsoft hatred is a disease.

they mustn't know my despair, I can't let them see the wounds which they have caused, I couldn't bear their sympathy and their kindhearted jokes, it would only make me want to scream all the more.

Shakespeare drew a map of the human mind as clearly as Newton mapped the heavens. Wht is one considered science and the other fir only to be mocked with jokes about pretty girls and drury lane?

I don't really want to tell jokes about trivia; I'd kind of rather tell jokes about things like life and death.

I've hated cockroaches my entire life.Tweeting jokes about it helps me cope, in a way. I'm not as jumpy killing cave crickets as I used to be. I still jump plenty though.

Cubans joke and satirize everything that life gives them, and I think that's a positive characteristic.

Seinfeld has his way of telling jokes - and I'm not comparing myself to Seinfeld, his genius is observing the small details of everyday life and finding humor in it.

Russell Crowe likes to tell jokes, which I can't. I can't remember a joke to save my life. I don't have a brain for it.

I think the jokes would have been a bit broader and a bit more obvious in terms of the day-to-day of country life.

As a jongleur, however, it was totally in character for him to make jokes at the slightest opportunity. Even bad ones. Especially bad ones, he amended.

One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably.