Quotes About Jokes

I'm Irish, so I'm messing all the time. Which means, I'm having a laugh. I'm always making jokes.

I'd worked with Marlon [Brando] a couple of times, and he was a practical joker. He was far more interested in getting jokes out than getting the words out. We laughed all the time.

A man must serve his time to every trade, Save censure-critics all are ready made. Take hackney'd jokes from Miller, got by rote With just enough learning to misquote.

All Sicilians are good eaters, when there is food to be had, and one of the few jokes people dared to make about Don Croce was that he would rather eat well than kill an enemy.

Sometimes I'd see a movie in a private screening room. No fun. People took phone calls and messages while watching. Made jokes, talked. When I go to a movie I'm a true believer. Or I just walk out.

But a comedian is naked. His only weapon was his wit.

she doesn't really have a sense of humor. I think she'd like to have one—it's just that she doesn't quite understand what jokes are for.

My life is passed in making bad jokes and seeing them turn into true prophecies.

I enjoy life. I always enjoy jokes.

I got a pit bull from a shelter, so my whole life is centered on this dog, and I've been writing a lot of dog jokes. I should probably give up now, because I'm writing jokes about my dog.

I'm kind of a rebound junkie. So. when a relationship goes sour, I look at the sweetness in life elsewhere. So, I date a bit. The best catharsis is to write jokes and tell 4, 000 people about it.

There is laughter, shrill calls. Everyone is flirting, saying in nudges and jokes and blushing what they would do in private.

The difference between a class clown and a class nerd is that the class clown tells jokes everyone gets while the class nerd tells jokes that only he gets. Comedy, thus, is not just truth and pain, but universal, or at least general, truth and pain.

I'm so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!

Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny jokes to each other. When they reach your brain,you hear what they're saying and that boosts your health and happiness. "Knock Knock... Who's There?.. Little endorphin... Little endorphin who?... Little Endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh and then you laugh. See? Its Science.

Knock, knock… Who's there?… Little endorphin… Little endorphin who?… Little endorphin Annie." And then the endorphins laugh, and then you laugh. See? It's science.

Here's a professional tip: If you have to say you're kidding, it might not be a great joke.

The real wit tells jokes to make others feel superior, while the half-wit tells them to make others feel small.

Undoubtedly I will receive letters asking about the coney's kiss. The truth is that I made it up. There are many Renaissance jokes about coneys, or rabbits. The word was associated with women, particularly with their sexual parts, and young men in plays tend to boast of their coney-catching ways. I've never read a joke about a coney's kiss: One has to hope that that doesn't reflect a lack of imagination of [sic] the part of sixteenth-century men.

My whole family is very sarcastic and constantly making jokes.

Mrs. Wardell wagged her finger and stood up to go. 'But you're looking very nice in your blue velvet,' she said. 'I must rush off now. Old Dr. Fremantle and his wife are coming to supper. So depressing.' She sighed. 'Reminiscences of Oxford in the eighties, with a few daring little academic jokes. And poor Olive's so dreary.

A bear and a bunny are out in the forest taking a shit. The bear leans over to the bunny and says, "Do you ever have the problem of shit sticking to your fur?" "No, not really," says the bunny. So the bear grabs the bunny and wipes his ass.

I'm obsessed with reality TV anyway - I use my knowledge of that stuff to make jokes on Twitter and Facebook to get more people to sign up to be fans.

I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on.