Quotes About Jokes

I have been recording every single one of my shows since 1994. Every single joke I've ever done is on a hard drive. I can tell you when I wrote every joke I wrote. I can tell you the first time I said it, when I made it different, when I made it better.

Reed Scott is really good at coming up with insults.

We wanted the humor to come from the characters and their world - you go down there to escape the world up here for a while. So when the crew would write jokes that would refer to American TV or culture, I'd just eliminate them because it just seemed odd that SpongeBob would know about it.

What's fascinating about doing comedy about the referendum is, because it is the first time, it is the most extraordinary atmosphere. You find that if you are making jokes about politicians, it becomes intensely political.

In a comedy it helps enhance things that were already there.

Granted, a lot has been made of Hillary Clintons sense of humor - her laugh is shrill, too many of her jokes have seemed too prepared for far too long.

However, peace was restored when two clowns hurried on to the stage and began letting off crackers and making obscene jokes.

I try not to rely on pop culture references as a crutch for jokes, because then, I think, that's when the timelessness quality is lost.

JaVale McGee is one of the smartest guys I know. Like, he's a nerd, plays with gadgets, and is into technology. He's funny - he's got crazy jokes, and his timing with jokes is really funny. You have to be really smart to think the way he does.

I've never considered stand-up. Luckily I'm given great lines to say. I'm not sure how great my timing would be if I actually had to come up with my own jokes.

Timing is crucial for comedy.

I just saw 'Tiny Furniture' and became so obsessed with it that Judd Apatow jokes that I'm the distributor of it. I was making copies and giving them out.

I was, like, this tiny little kid that was goofy and would always crack jokes or sit in the back of class and not listen to anything that the teacher was saying.

Everyone's heard the same joke a million times and knows the setups. They are tired of the mass-marketed entertainment served on the networks.

I have a problem with telling jokes about physics. Quite often the audience have no idea what you are talking about and, to be honest, I don't know what I'm talking about either.

The way I toe the line with comedy is I run jokes past people.

I think maybe heaven is a sea of untranslatable jokes. Only everyone is laughing.

But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough.

They say that God is watching everyone all the time, so he'd always get to see his jokes play out. If so, he's laughing his butt off, assuming God has a butt, which is unlikely, since butts are also an obvious practical joke.

Laughter leads to running jokes, and running jokes lead to a shared history, and a shared history is culture.

Q: Why didn't 4 like 5? A: Because he was odd.

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: Because they have big fingers.

Q: Why is 6 scared of 7? A: Because 7 ate 9 and 10.

Q: What do you get when an epileptic falls into a lettuce patch? A: Seizure salad.