Quotes About Jokes

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea? A: Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? A: Milk and quackers.

Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex? A: Their mothers taught them not to talk with their mouths full.

If you do a joke that's really old, then what happens is people on Reddit and Twitter just go, 'Real original, you're just doing old jokes!' But bands do it all the time.

I make terrible jokes every time I go into a hospital. I think it's a defence mechanism.

Donald Trump was seen for quite a long time as a punchline, the jokes about the excesses and the failures of the 1980s. And he had become, you know, a human shingle and a punchline.

We actually talked about Adam Sandler during the creation of 'Trolls,' because he does know how to time jokes.

When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: "I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like."

Humor is tragedy plus time.

The jokes in the previous section can all be described as universes of discourse colliding, frames getting entangled, or contexts getting confused.

Only a hundred years ago the idea that an order might arise without a personal Author appeared so nonsensical to you that it inspired seemingly absurd jokes, like the one about the pack of monkeys hammering away at typewriters until the Encyclopedia Britannica emerged. I recommend that you devote some of your free time to compiling an anthology of just such jokes, which amused your forebears as pure nonsense but now turn out to be parables of Nature.

I will put it in another way: if a creation were to take place—which personally I cannot conceive—then the level of knowledge that it would require would be of such an order that there would be no place in it for silly jokes.

The inside jokes weren't jokes anymore. they had become stories

Patrick made jokes to keep everyone honest.

A dimwit thinks nothing is funny unless it's mean.

Laughter, Susannah would later reflect, is like a hurricane: once it reaches a certain point, it becomes self-feeding, self-supporting. You laugh not because the jokes are funny but because your own condition is funny.

I guess most jokes have some truth in them and that's what makes them funny.

You shouldn't make jokes about these things," she said. "Science doesn't have all the answers, you know." "It's got all the best questions, though,

There is a rich vein of jokes about economists and their assumptions. Take the old one about the engineer, the physicist, and the economist. They find themselves shipwrecked on a desert island with nothing to eat but a sealed can of beans. How to get at them? The engineer proposes breaking the can open with a rock. The physicist suggests heating the can in the sun, until it bursts. The economist's approach: "First, assume we have a can opener....

When doing a series, I look for something that has an idea you can think about, something that I'm noticing and aware of and thinking about, because when you're doing a series, you think about more than just jokes... you know, when you're doing a comedy, you think about what's going to reflect people's experiences, in a way.

That's what I hate about a lot of comedies, when you're hitting a line or making it funny.

With comedy, you have no place to go but more comedy, so you're never off the hook.

The thing about a sense of humour is that it's not bestowed on the good. It's just randomly dished out.

Childhood was the germ of all mistrust. You were cruelly joked upon and then you cruelly joked. You lost the remembrance of pain through inflicting it.