Quotes About Jokes

In bluegrass, there's a lot of joke-telling and a lot of banter between bandmates. It's like improv or watching the 'Carol Burnett Show.'

Everything is real but we write the jokes too and improvise them.

Inappropriate behavior makes me laugh.

I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.

Un giorno, quando ne avremo il tempo penseremo i pensieri di tutti i pensatori di tutti i tempi guarderemo tutti i quadri di tutti i maestri rideremo con tutti i burloni faremo la corte a tutte le donne istruiremo tutti gli uomini

How many Jewish grandmothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You shouldn't worry . . . I'll sit in the dark.

I kid around a lot, but pranks are not my best strength!

CINDRELLA   Q. why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? A. Because she kept running from the ball. BELT     Q. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A. Waist of time! ELEVATORS   Q. Why do ghosts love elevators? A. Because they lift their spirits! GRAVEYARD   Q. Why are there fences around a graveyard? A. Because people are dying to get in!

There are a lot of veterans out there who would not think their wounds would be the source of poor jokes in bad taste to a hysterically laughing audience.

Often, when you're in some of these writing rooms for... and the most restrictive is network television, right? They say, 'Wow, that's a great joke, but we can't do that. Okay, let's try the second joke. Oh, you can't do that one. But the third joke you can do,' and hopefully it will be great, but it will remind people of what the joke really was.

My dad always jokes that we should have a reality TV show because my friends and I pull crazy stunts, like putting Saran Wrap on the toilet.

Years ago, I was always serious, and now I chuckle and make jokes to create a calm environment because 'WrestleMania' can be a high-pressure atmosphere.

I'm not good at narrative; I'm really a gag writer, and that comes from being in the newspaper comic strip world for a while in college. What I do is I just write tons of jokes, then I sort them out in terms of quality and then pick the best of the jokes and then try to form them into a plot. If I get a good theme going, I feel lucky.

It had more layers than an onion. These writers meant business. There was a level for everybody. Your major could be celestial mechanics, and there'd be celestial-mechanics jokes.

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

Someone to whom jokes are never told soon contracts enthusiasm deficiency.

Dealing with boys at work and being the only girl can be challenging. I have my insecurities, but I've learned I have to be a good sport. I have to be able to take certain jokes and not take them personally. There are jokes made almost every second of the day. I had to develop a tough hide. You know, the music industry is dominated by guys.

This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So... just batteries aren't included.

The Comedy Central CDs combined with the TV specials are what led to my stuff being traded and passed around, and a lot more people knowing my jokes than I thought.

I once saw a pin on a Delta Airlines employee and I asked him what the letters in Delta stand for. He said "Don't Expect Luggage To Arrive."

I stand above the tree level I am a tree I catch wind storm breaths My branches claw I drink sky It stretches me I don't care I catch jokes and luck from tall thin blue air

e foundation to a good friendship is trust but the foundation to good comedy is by betraying your friends.

My only goal is to make you laugh, not tell you the truth.

I don't think I could ever do a network sitcom because the humor is often based on some trite circumstance. I don't want to be a part of a show where it's mostly about coming up with the jokes.