Quotes About Jokes

the most striking thing about him to the modern reader is that here was a devout Muslim who constantly made jokes about Islam that would be unthinkable today. Though this scholar could recite the entire Koran in eight hours and act as muezzin, unusually he was clean-shaven, irreverent, open-minded and an enemy of fanaticism, whether Islamic, Jewish or Christian.

I love telling myself jokes. I think I'm a riot.

I will always love to perform standup comedy.

I love good comedy. I don't like bad comedy.

It's like love making, the foreplay is the biggest part, the same thing as comedy. If you can frame your show in such a way that the funny jokes become funnier.

Love: the sickest of Irony's sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die.

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

I never was shy, but as far as telling jokes, I'm the worst. I like physical comedy; it's where I feel comfortable.

I was always the guy who made jokes and ribbed people at parties. After I went to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts I got sidetracked into clubs and started doing comedy.

I've been a stand-up comedian for years, and I can be silly.

I feel like comedy is where I'm most at ease, but I also have an allergy to silly jokes.

You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically.

But I know eventually he will be filed under "H" for "hooker" in my expanding file cabinet of funny stories to be pulled out whenever I need a cheap laugh.

Night goes away, a black bull-- body heavy with mourning and fear and mystery-- it has been bellowing horribly, monstrously, in genuine fear of all the dead; and day arrives, a young child who wants trust, and love, and jokes, --a child who somewhere far away, in secret places where what ends meets what is starting, has been playing a moment on some meadow or other of light and darkness with the bull who is running away...

I never say a funny thing intentionally.

The Scripture warns about evil communications that corrupt good manners. Off-color jokes and dirty stories have no place in the Christian life. Thousands of people are engaging in immorality by the way they talk. Keep your talk pure. Ask God to purify your tongue.

Michael Jackson? That's all I gotta say.... He's become a punchline. He has! Michael Jackson is a punchline. To any joke you want. If you ever forget the punchline to a joke, all you gotta say is 'Michael Jackson.' "Two Jews walk into a bar ... Michael Jackson!" "Why did the chicken cross the road? Michael Jackson!" "So the farmer brings his daughter to the dinner table--Michael Jackson!" It works for f***ing anything!

Funny is funny is funny.

I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.

But I actually did change Mary-Kate's and Ashley's diapers once. And that was four years ago. Ashley came up with the punch line to that joke. No,

Lawrence laughed at that one like it was a Richard Pryor special.

To remember jokes, many professional comedians Link a Key Word or thought of one joke to the Key Word of the next, and so on. The comedian knows the jokes; he simply needs reminders of the jokes and their sequence.

I have never fully exorcised shames that struck me to the heart as a child except through written violence, shadowy caricature, and dark jokes.

But television, when I was doing it, was all about scoring. You had to make these jokes bang, do whatever you could to make the material really pop. And if it didn't, there was something wrong with the material, or with you.