Quotes About Jokes

I'm not too keen on jokes that are one-liners. I want the situation to be funny.

The only difference between a comedian and someone else? We need to make people laugh more.

Heard it," I say. "You were supposed to stop me," he says, clearly exhausted after the telling. "How many breaths do I have left? You don't want me to waste them on twice-told jokes, do you?

We were simply waiting for the last day. We were telling the old, bad jokes, biding our time until the end came.

I can really stir up a conversation. Every time I go to a meeting or a casting, I try to make it as light and funny as I can. I'm always making really awkward jokes. You have to make life fun and not take it too seriously. I may look like I'm very serious and into my work, but if you knew me, I'm just a jokester.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh

From the stage I've seen people of all ages absolutely roaring at really good toilet humour.

He's so old his social security number is two digits.

I don't think you should make so many off-colour jokes about him becoming a cuckold. You're only getting away with it because he doesn't know what it means.' 'That's the beauty of the English language. One can wrap insults inside elegance, like popping anchovies into pastry.

You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically.

Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it.

What 'SNL' taught me that was useful on 'The Watch' was, only put in bad words if they can get a laugh - there was no need for swear words and beeps in places that weren't necessary. Those beeps should only be in there when they mean something and it's important to the joke.

I'm always ready for TV. I don't have to edit my jokes - when you work clean, you can work anywhere.

Donald Trump was very receptive. Funny. Cracked some jokes. And understand it very well. And said he was in that he would work with us.

You know, when I was a kid, I used to cry every day, like, when I was like, you know, 7 through 11 or 6 through 11, to the point where my brother and sisters would like - there was an ongoing joke where they would make me cry to keep my streak alive of crying every day.

I kid around a lot, but pranks are not my best strength!

I got into stand-up because I love stand-up. Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punch line.

When you hire directors, you're most concerned about whether or not someone from the outside will get the jokes.

Comedy is great because there's no overhead.

From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking at a comic at the age of six or seven and I remember what I enjoyed and what it was precisely and how the joke worked.

I don't know. I never smoked AstroTurf.

All right, I'll wait another two thousand years to make jokes about my evilness.

Get it? Foul. Not one of my subtler jokes, but it'll do.