Quotes About Jokes

I just read that men reach their sexual peak at 18. Women reach their sexual peak at 35. Do you get the feeling that God is into practical jokes? We're reaching our sexual peak right around the same time they're discovering they have a favorite chair.

Puns are the gag hand buzzers of conversation. It hurts a bit but everyone gets a good laugh out of it.

What incensed him the most was the blatant jokes of the ones that passed it all off as a jest, pretending to understand everything and in reality not knowing their own minds.

And no southern jokes, please. Ick.

No, what's the best way to catch a fish?" Angel asked again. Oh. "I don't know?" I said warily. "Have someone throw it to you!" Angel laughed, I groaned, and, next to me, Total chuckled.

For instance, atoms. Seriously. When was the last time you heard a guy on TV joking about protons, neutrons, and electrons?

It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour.

Women who are not living ought to spend all their time cracking jokes. In a rotten society women grow witty; making a heaven while they wait.

Today is Veterans Day. Thank you to all our men and women who have served the United States armed forces. In honor of Veterans Day we are marching out a few jokes that have already served.

Why can't women tell jokes? Because we marry them!

I just loved jokes so much as a child. I remember wanting to perform at, like... age seven by reading from a kids' joke book, and my parents being like, 'That's not what standup comedy is,' and me being like, 'Not yet it isn't! I'm going to change the game.'

You can't teach standup comedy. You can teach someone how to formulate a joke, but making it funny is different.

Johnny Carson started the jokes about me and Marlin in his monologues.

Musician jokes are a kind of joke that usually have to do with how much money someone makes. Musicians are always starving, so they're really mean to each other about who makes what.

I think a comedian has to be low status on some level; that gives you the right to do all sorts of jokes about all sorts of different kinds of people.

I'm very protective of my material. And you have to be, because it's very easy for people just to steal jokes.

I think more than anything, as a comedian, I grow tired of the unoriginality of 'crazy cat lady' jokes. It's a hacky joke based on an already-played-out stereotype.

Two preppies from the University of South Florida tried to hit on her with cocaine jokes. Sharon

I enjoy jokes, smiling, and making people smile. I may be a little different, but that's OK, who wants to be normal anyway?

Most people are used to the T.V. comedy method of one joke every 18 seconds. And that's why it's not funny... There's no time for anything to develop.

People doing rhymes that are nonsense - nothing can make me laugh like that.

I'm a Macintosh nut. I got my PowerBook, so if I'm not writing jokes, I'm working on that.

I've always littered my songs with jokes. You might need to dig a little deeper to find the humor, but I would totally object to being some kind of distraught personality. I've never tried to attach myself to that.

Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it's not jokes that are funny, it's characters that are funny. And isn't that true! That's why I always kill jokes. I'm terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I can't get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon.