Quotes About Shame

High school is the time of puberty. And puberty is a time of intense exposure and vulnerability. Whatever toxic shame a person carries from childhood will be tested in high school. Often teenage groups look for a scapegoat, someone everyone can dump and project their shame onto. This was Arnold's fate. He was viciously shamed by his female peer group. This accounted for his problem with women.

An immature parent with unresolved issues and repressed shame can also transfer his or her shame to us. This interpersonal transference of shame is referred to as "induced shame.

Toxic shame is soul murder. Because of it we become other-ated human doings, without an inner life and without inner peace. Shame-based people long for true inner serenity and peace. The spiritual life is an inner life. It cannot be attained on the outside. The spiritual life is its own reward and seeks nothing beyond itself. Once we achieve inner peace and conscious contact, we want to overflow.

Because the roles maintain the balance of the system, they exist for the system. The children give up their own reality to take care of the family system—to keep it whole and balanced. Each form of abandonment breaks the interpersonal bridge and the mutual-intimacy bond. A child is precious and incomparable. Unless treated with value and love, this sense of preciousness and incomparability diminishes. In toxic, internalized shame, it disappears completely.

When children have shame-based parents, they identify with them. This is the first step in the child's internalizing shame because the children carry their parent's shame.

A shame-based person will guard against exposing his inner self to others, but more significantly, he will guard against exposing himself to himself.

Max exemplifies another route taken by shame-based children in school. Max followed the lead of his shame-based brother and sister. He became a superachiever in school. He was a straight-A student. Superachievement and perfectionism are two of the leading cover-ups for toxic shame. As paradoxical as it may seem, the straight-A student and the F student may both be driven by toxic shame.

Not knowing who you are is the greatest tragedy of all. The rigid family-system roles sealed during adolescence become the most conscious identity you have. In fact, these roles become addictions. By being in the role, you feel that you matter. To let go of the role would be to touch the deep reservoir of toxic shame that binds your original pain, the core of which is the spiritual wound. When you lost your I AMness, you lost your mattering.

Blessed Cross! Blessed grave! Blessed rather be    The Man who there was put to shame for me.

The wise shall inherit glory, but shame shall be the promotion of fools.'" (Prov. 3:35)

Thus far did I come laden with my sin; Nor could aught ease the grief that I was in, Till I came hither; what a place is this! Must here be the beginning of my bliss? Must here the burden fall from off my back? Must here the strings that bound it to me crack? Blest cross! blest sepulchre! blest rather be The Man that was there put to shame for me!

Thus far did I come laden with my sin; Nor could aught ease the grief that I was in Till I came hither: What a place is This! Must here be the beginning of my bliss? Must here the burden fall from off my back? Must here the strings that bound it to me crack? Blest Cross! blest Sepulchre! blest rather be The Man that was put to shame for me

Seeing, then, that God prefers his religion; seeing God prefers a tender conscience; seeing they that make themselves fools for the kingdom of heaven are wisest; and that the poor man that loveth Christ is richer than the greatest man in the world that hates him; Shame, depart, thou art an enemy to my salvation!

Justina's life had been exemplary, but by ending it she seemed to have disgraced us all.

Acceptance is outcomes without attachments, guilt, shame, remorse, self pity, resentment, fear, anger, etc. These are the tools of the disease of addiction. To maintain Recovery One must maintain a state of Acceptance.

Everybody makes mistakes, but some are never forgotten or forgiven.

Sadness usually results from one of the following causes either when a man does not succeed, or is ashamed of his success

It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them.

Flaws would not only bring death but, far worse, humiliation.

He could only consider me as the living corpse of a would-be suicide, a person dead to shame, an idiot ghost.

To show his nervousness was not shameful

I am always driven by the terror of humiliation.

Actions rare and sudden do commonly proceed from fierce necessity, of else from some oblique design, which is ashamed to show itself in the public road.

It is my great desire to reform my subjects, and yet I am ashamed to confess that I am unable to reform myself.