Quotes About Observation

Thus one can observe that those who proclaim piety as their goal and purpose usually turn into hypocrites.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can stand on your feet for hours, watching somebody else putt.

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks like He rushed it.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

You will recognize, my boy, the first sign of age: it is when you go out into the streets of London and realize for the first time how young the policemen look.

It is probable that there is no one thing that it is of eminent importance for a child to learn. The true object of juvenile education, is to provide, against the age of five and twenty, a mind well regulated, active, and prepared to learn. Whatever will inspire habits of industry and observation, will sufficiently answer this purpose.

Every time I see something terrible, it's like I see it at age 19. I keep a freshness that way.

An extra-terrestrial philosopher, who had watched a single youth up to the age of twenty-one and had never come across any other human being, might conclude that it is the nature of human beings to grow continually taller and wiser in an indefinite progress towards perfection; and this generalization would be just as well founded as the generalization which evolutionists base upon the previous history of this planet.

Everyday took an age to go by, which was odd, because days plural went past like a stampede.

You can construct the character of a man and his age not only from what he does and says, but from what he fails to say and do.

You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by the way he eats jelly beans.

While he was talking at Baylor University, President Bush said, Times are kind of tough. He also pointed out that Bill Gates is kind of rich, that water is kind of wet, and that Elvis is kind of dead.

He must be the only man alive who can eat an apple through a tennis racket.

On cable TV they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window.

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny...?

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.

A recent conversation: Dubya: Look at the clock, time is racing! Cheney: That's the second hand, George!

I love gentiles. In fact, on of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.