Quotes About Incongruity

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.

My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off.

In a society... so madly in love with oxymoron's... ask yourself this... ...when was the last time you ever bought anything for free?

is probable that, like the illustrious author of the drama, all were unconscious of any incongruity between their sentiments and actions.

And he himself one vile antithesis.

A brain of feathers, and a heart of lead.

Logic plus logic equals the illogical. Do you know what I mean?

The final wisdom of life requires not the annulment of incongruity but the achievement of serenity within and above it.

It was like smiling at a gargoyle.

But alpacas don't lay eggs!

He looked like a Yanni fan at an Iron Maiden Concert.

A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.

He was an old sock and she was a glass slipper

It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.

Bringing Marcus to Findlay would be like bringing a bazooka to a Tupperware party.

In many ways, the title American is an oxymoron because one may look it on the outside but not feel it on the inside.

Military intelligence is a meaningless phrase because the two words are mutually exclusive.

Military intelligence, two words combined that cant make sense

I always seem to get parts where I play the sports professional - and that's not me at all!

Major Rutledge of the Buffs, Eton and Sandhurst as to intonation, millimetrically tooth-brushed as to moustache, Savile Row as to the quite dazzling sartorial perfection of his khaki drill, was so magnificently out of place in the wild beauty of the rocky, tree-lined bluffs of that winding creek that his presence there seemed inevitable.

I find it frustrating when people wear belts with braces. That's an interesting one.

Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.

A gloomy guest fits not a wedding feast.

Life can't die. It's a contradiction.