Quotes About Awareness

My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.

I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to let us look at the family's financial records.

People always say, "When did you know you were funny?" They don't mean that in a bad way - this already makes me sound like such a jerk.

That's a very nice, generic-sounding question: "When did you know you were funny?" But it pre-supposes that I think I'm really hilarious. So that's kind of a loaded question.

You have to know where the funny is, and if you know where the funny is, you know everything.

Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.

My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty.

Self-discover is not as someone would have us think, a heavy, awesome, moral process where everyone sits around and frowns. As you progress towards enlightenment, you become funny.

Those secrets are things that most people don't learn, because they are not enthusiastic enough, or bright enough, or patient enough, or funny enough; or still enough.

Don't write about what you don't know even if you don't know it.

It's funny because sometimes one doesn't actually consider these things for one's self until one's in a situation like this press conferece where one has to kind of think about it.

Look at your watch now. You're still a super hot female.

There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.

The further one goes, the less (he realizes he) one knows.

Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt.

I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who are in a situation beyond their control is not funny to them or their families.

Yes, we rather condemn people for eternity without the courtesy of informing them.

It's funny, as you live through something you're not aware of it.

There are nice, funny, totally good-looking guys out there. You just have to know where to look…and apparently, where NOT to look.

It might be funny when you get hit by a car, but not when you get run over by one.

So I know where my feet are.

We were told four years ago that 17 million people went to bed hungry each night. Well that was probably true. They were all on a diet.

I don't think the show would be funny to you if you didn't already have a base of information.

I know I have to stop. We all have to stop. Funny how knowing something's a bad idea doesn't make a difference.