Quotes About Empathy

I definitely get the sense that you don't like discussing your schedule, at least not the way I bring it up. The problem for me is that I feel worried and I would like to share why in a way that's helpful. I don't seem to know how to do that, and I was wondering if you had any advice.

As you approach these chapters, have this question marinating in the back of your mind: Why is it that when we give feedback we so often feel right, yet when we receive feedback it so often feels wrong?

If the block to their listening is that they don't feel heard, then the way to remove that block is by helping them feel heard – by bending over backwards to listen to what they have to say, and perhaps most important, by demonstrating that you understand what they are saying and how they are feeling.

The Principle of Mutual Caretaking. One dynamic to remember at this stage of a difficult conversation is the tendency we all have to believe that our way of doing things is the "right" way. This can lead us to ascribe the problem to something wrong with "the way they are," and to suggest a "solution" that boils down to doing it our way: "If you would just change, there wouldn't be a problem.

As we saw in Chapter 2, often we merely trade our conclusions back and forth, and never get into the process of exploring where these views come from. You have information about yourself that the other person has no access to. That kind of information can be important; consider sharing it. And you have life experiences that are influencing what you think and why, as well as how you feel. When you tell these stories, it puts some meat onto the bones of your views.

Listening, understanding, and showing empathy with feelings are the things that help dissipate them, making it easier for the person having those feelings to calm down and open up to other perspectives.

And recognize that different people take in information at different speeds and in different ways. For example, some people are visually oriented. For them, you may want to use visual metaphors and refer to pictures or, in a business setting, charts. Some people prefer to get their arms around the whole problem first, and can't listen to anything else you say until they do. Others like all the details up front. Pay attention to these differences.

Ask Them to Paraphrase Back Paraphrasing the other person helps you check your understanding and helps them know you've heard. You can ask them to do the same thing for you: "Let me check to see if I'm being clear. Would you mind just playing back what you've heard me say so far?

Expressing Your Views and Feelings Your goal should be to express your views and feelings to your own satisfaction. You hope that the other person will understand what you are saying, and perhaps be moved by it, but you can't count on that. What you can do is say, as well as you can, what is important for you to say about your views, intentions, contributions, feelings, and identity issues. You can share your story.

You can begin from the Third Story by saying, "My sense is that you and I see this situation differently. I'd like to share how I'm seeing it, and learn more about how you're seeing it.

Most conversations can be initiated from the Third Story to include both perspectives and invite joint exploration.

At heart, blame is about judging and contribution is about understanding.

What you want the other person to say isn't "It was my fault," but rather "I understand that I hurt you and I'm sorry." The first statement is about judgment, the second about understanding.

Justice is what love looks like in public, just like tenderness is what love feels like in private.

I will not resort to violence, I will not degrade myself with hatred. I will return good for evil, I will love my enemies. Christ showed us the way and Gandhi in India showed it could work.

Forgiveness of those who have transgressed against you, or those you love, is not about them; it is about you. It is a gift to yourself.

Those who do not feel pain seldom think that it is felt.

A person's a person, no matter how small.

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It's not.

If you have the choice between being right and being kind, choose to be kind

The best cure for one's own grief and pain was worrying about the well-being of someone else.

That was what you did as a friend: you put the needs of each other above everything else. You were loyal to your own.

They believe that all beings, regardless of species or gender, are created equal. Surely you can understand that." It was more a statement than a question, but Des answered anyway. "But all beings aren't really equal, are they? I mean, some are smarter, or stronger Ã¢â'¬Â¦ or better at cards.

The Other Him gave a creepy look that bordered on pity. Oh, you poor baby. Which was surreel. Was that what Hradie looked like when he was trying to look sympathetic? No wonder everybody seemed to want to punch him in the face.