Quotes About Fart

As soon as we were out the doors, I turned to Sean. "Will you take this seriously? The future of an entire species is at stake." "Yes, we're going to save them with a fart gun." "Don't!" Fart. Ugh.

She was good-natured with a ribald sense of humour, breaking wind fairly frequently and uninhibitedly, then asking in a loud voice: "Who's let Johnny out of prison?" I

A hundred brilliant witticisms died suffocating on the captain's heavy glove. Thus muted, I pumped my codpiece at the duke and tried to force a fart, but my bum tumpet could find no note.

My dad was a very unconventional Asian American man. He was very much not quiet, not shy, not passive. If he had to fart, he'd do it in the library. He did not care. He was like, 'I don't know these people. I'm uncomfortable, and I need to let it go.'

It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer's you are an old fart. That's how people see you. It makes you feel quite alone.

The only break in the gloom came from a guard who would saunter down the barracks aisle, pause before each cell, raise one leg, and fart at each captive. He never quite succeeded in farting his way down the entire cell block.

I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women.

It also makes you fart," said John Paul. "Constantly." "Frequently would be the more accurate term," said Peter. "And it's sweet of you to care." "We're just looking out for your image," said Theresa. "I only fart when I'm alone." "Since he does it in front of us," said John Paul to Theresa, "what exactly does that make us?

I used to cough to cover a fart, now I fart to cover a cough.

Today at the hotel, Benji farted in the elevator. It was wrong on so many levels.

Maybe it was me, Grandma said.Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.

Someone has farted; no one knows just who, but this isn't like a normal adult place where everybody coolly pretends a fart didn't happen; here everybody has to make their little comment.

Never liked Kolanos. Was at a feast with him one time. Never heard him fart at all. Can't trust a man who doesn't fart at a feast.

I'm getting really paranoid,' I said. 'I keep thinking, any moment, I'm going to get done for something that I didn't even know was illegal. I'm scared that if I fart too loudly I might get hanged for polluting the environment.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on where you were sitting) Libby let off the smelliest, loudest fart known to humanity. It came out of her bum-oley with such force that she lifted off my knee - like a hovercraft. Even she looked surprised by what had come out of her.

I intended to make it sound guileless and rather sweet but you will see in it the little blades of social criticism without which no book is worth a fart in hell.

astrological scatological rhyme about the young man from Rangoon who tried to fart his way to the moon. Seems he flopped as a rocket, shit in his pocket, and died in a rectal typhoon.

the old woman said just as the machine let out a loud honking sound that could only be described as a fart.

He calls you dear Sabine - Patronizing fart!

I'm a goofy old fart, but I still have fun. Have you ever been on a rollercoaster? I'm so old I get that same sensation just rolling over in bed.

One must never own up to a fart in public. That is the unwritten law, the single most stringent protocol of American etiquette. Farts come from no one and nowhere; they are anonymous emanations that belong to the group as a whole, and even when every person in the room can point to the culprit, the only sane course of action is denial.