Quotes from Dossie Easton

Listen to your fears: they have a lot to teach you about yourself.

We believe that friendship is an excellent reason to have sex, and that sex is an excellent way to maintain a friendship

A subset of this myth is the belief that if you're really in love, you will automatically lose all interest in others; thus, if you're having sexual or romantic feelings toward anyone but your primary partner, you're not really in love. This belief has cost many people a great deal of happiness through the centuries, yet is untrue to the point of absurdity: a ring around the finger does not cause a nerve block to the genitals.

Some people base their sense of ethics on what they've been told that God, or their church, or their parents, or their culture, believes to be okay or not okay. They believe that being good consists of obedience to laws set down by a power greater than themselves.

Con la práctica, podemos desarrollar una intimidad basada en la cordialidad y respeto mutuo mucho más libre que la desesperación, necesidad o la locura ciega de enamorarse

MYTH #2: ROMANTIC LOVE IS THE ONLY REAL LOVE Look at the lyrics of popular songs, or read some classical poetry: the phrases we choose to describe romantic love don't really sound all that pleasant. Crazy in love, love hurts, obsession, heartbreak Ã¢â'¬Â¦ these are all descriptions of mental or physical illness.

When we define a problem as a disease, we often act as if a diagnosis were a solution: paste on a label and then end the discussion as if we've accomplished something. But then nothing ever changes.

It's difficult to get attached to preferences like lesbian or straight when you don't know the gender of the person you are flirting with.

Let's remember to honor the courage it takes to ask for support, to share vulnerable feelings.

When you look at the people around you and dismiss them—or, worse yet, assume you know all there is to know about them—because of their skin color, gender, orientation, way of speaking, mode of dress, religion, or country of origin, you'll never get to hear any of the new and fascinating things those people might have to say.

The real test of love is when someone sees our weaknesses, our stupidities, and our smallnesses, and still loves us.

We dream of a world where no one is driven by desires they have no hope of fulfilling, where no one suffers from shame for their desires or embarrassment about their dreams, where no one is starving from lack of love or sex. We dream of a world where no one is limited by rules that dictate that they must be less of a person than they have the capacity to be.

We dream of a time and a place where we will all be free to publicly declare our love, for whomever we love, however we love them.

You write the script, you get to make the choices, and you get to change your mind, too.

Temporary marks, like bruises or welts that last a few days, are common occurrences in S/M. However, some people – such as those with vanilla partners at home – might have problems with them, so it's probably a good idea to ask about marks before you haul out the cast-iron cane.

In his lectures to young communists in Germany during the rise of Hitler and the Nazis, psychologist Wilhelm Reich theorized that the suppression of sexuality was essential to an authoritarian government. Without the imposition of antisexual morality, he believed, people would be free from shame and would trust their own sense of right and wrong. They would be unlikely to march to war against their wishes or to operate death camps.

Bottoming can "turn off our brains" – giving us a quiet respite, in the endorphin high of pain play, the stillness of bondage, or the clarity of giving good service, from the day-to-day clutter and chatter of existence.

But believing that God doesn't like sex is like believing that God doesn't like you. Because of this belief, a tremendous number of people carry great shame for their own perfectly natural sexual desires and activities.

We urge you to regard with great skepticism any sentence that begins 'Everybody knows...' or 'Common sense tells us...' Often, these phrases are signposts for cultural belief systems that may be antisexual, monogamy-centrist, and/or codependent.

No matter what the other person is doing, what you feel in response is determined inside you. Even when somebody deliberately tries to hurt you, you make a choice about how you feel. You might feel angry or hurt or frightened or guilty. The choice, not usually conscious, happens inside you.

We would propose that we do love our friends, whether or not we have sex with them: these individuals are our family, often more permanent in our lives than marriages.

There is no reason why any relationship in our lives can't be blessed with intimacy.

Sluts share their sexuality the way philanthropists share their money: because they have a lot of it to share, because it makes them happy to share it, because sharing makes the world a better place. Sluts often find that the more love and sex they give away, the more they have: a loaves-and-fishes miracle in which greed and generosity go hand in hand to provide more for everybody.

Topping, like bottoming, gives us permission to explore energies that are not OK in the outside world