Quotes from Sholem Aleichem

While munching on my afternoon snack—a piece of bread smeared with chicken fat—I joyfully looked into the bright parlor.

Sosil said a cat licking herself meant a guest was coming.

But as you can see, I'm as hale and hearty as ever, may it continue that way. Except for that one scar on my face, my shortness of breath, and the constant twitch in my eyes, I'm in perfect shape.

They say it has several hundred floors. How do you get to the top? With a ladder called an elevator. To get to the top floor, you board the elevator early in the morning and you reach your floor by sunset.

Let's make it short and sweet," Mama interrupted. "In other words, you won't have it done by Passover? In that case I'll send for the other shoemaker." "Why shouldn't I have them done?" he said, wriggling. "For you, I'll put off the rest of the work. Your shoes, with God's help, will have to be finished for Passover. And no excuses!

Yes, Berel-Ayzik, what you say is all very well and good. But just tell us one more thing. Do they die in America like they do here? Or do they live forever?

If only you'd want to study, you could make something of yourself. If not, what will become of you? Absolutely nothing. You'll be a dog-catcher.

Basye, the tailor's wife, butted in. She was a tiny woman, who performed three jobs at once. She rocked the baby with her foot, darned a sock with her hands, and fussed and fumed with her mouth.

Dying is the same all over. It's death that kills them.

Pockets he wants! Let his mother send cloth for pockets and he'll get them. There's a fine how-do-you-do! Pockets!

What do you put into the shoes to make them squeak?" "Oh, squeaks?" said Karpe. "Sugar makes them squeak.

you have to soak the soles in vodka, otherwise the sugar won't take. "Now I get it," I said. "If there's no vodka, the sugar goes to waste. And if there's no sugar, there's no squeak. Like the Mishna says: If there's no food, there's no Torah.

The third-class funeral is a shabby one and costs only a hundred dollars. The weather is cold and foggy. The coffin has no catafalque. There are two horses and two reverends. Not a carriage in sight.

if hungry people were present, they were no doubt choristers and

But what's the good of being boss if you don't trust your workers? You may think differently. But I'm not asking you.

While I kept playing chess with him, his mind was elsewhere. I took his queen and he took my Rose.

What are you looking for back there?" said Mama. "Yesterday's snow?

First she laughed, then she bawled me out and started crying. This was followed by an attack of hysteria with all the trimmings. What a conflict.

Once I give my word, I don't care if the world comes to an end.

As he grew older, his voice became rusty and only the weeping remained—but it was the sort of weeping that could move a wall, or wake the dead.

He congratulated himself and wished himself a year of bliss.

When a wolf attacks the flock and devours a lamb, the rest of the lambs panic; they go into a momentary panic. Then they press together and begin to tremble all over.

By the time I got home, the hat had flopped over my ears. It was a bit too big, I felt. "It's no tragedy. So long as it isn't too tight," said Mama, pulling the hat over my nose. "Just don't keep taking it off and putting it on. Don't touch it. Wear it well.

Then out of the blue there came Shapiro the Bookkeeper who didn't play a bad game of chess and Rose fell for him.