Quotes from Sholem Aleichem

I have neither friends nor relatives, thank goodness. I'm as lonely as a stone.

Doctor, I wish you'd make in a month what I lose in a year. Then you'd say I was a friend of yours.

A home's no good without a master and without a father.

Do you know what it's like to marry off a daughter? You don't? Then you're better off! I know very well what it's like, even though it was someone else's daughter.

Eleven kids from three wives, may no harm come to them, is nothing to sneeze at!

Like they say: one window pane goes, another comes in its place.

All right, doctor, you just try and have three grown daughters—God bless them—and marry them off all in one day and then we'll see if you'll be able to sit home and relax for even a day.

Everything was one big joke. There are people like that, you know. Not many, but they're around. It's my luck that their path had to cross mine.

It looks like doctors prescribe what they themselves enjoy doing. I'm surprised they haven't told me to start swallowing rubles yet.

Despite the fact that your psychology says that an old bachelor is an egoist. Maybe that in itself is egoism.

Where is it written that I had to tell her and that she couldn't tell me.

I'm not going to give you a song and dance that I'm a great scholar, philosopher, or man of wealth.

Psychology means parsley. It looks pretty, smells nice, and, if you put in into a stew, it's tasty. But go chew parsley raw! Not interested, huh?

You see, you've asked why and you're willing to listen to me. That shows true psychology! But the main thing is not to interrupt me with questions

Madness— that's more up your alley. You're married. I don't dare go meshugge

Well look and see what this very same Job has to say, that book which everyone reads, but no one understands

Even if you don't believe me, it's no skin off my back. I don't have to brag to you!

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away—until you're blue in the face, and you won't be any the wiser. What's that you say? Philosophizing is like chewing straw? My very words!

Like they say—you get used to troubles.

Like the saying has it: keep living and you'll live to see it.

A button! What's a button, eh? To a bachelor, my dear friend, a button is an important thing. An entire world.

But—I don't want to knock anyone. Even if you think I do, what do I care?

Look, do me a favor! When I'm telling a story, don't read! It's a disgusting habit! You better listen to what I'm saying, for there's a new story beginning.

I'm neither a woman, nor a mother who showers praises on babies. But if I tell you that the baby was an exception, take my word for it.