Quotes from Ricky Gervais

If I just cut out the food, I'd have a six-pack. I'd look like Matthew McConaughey.

There's nothing wrong with being respected by your peers. There's nothing wrong with trying to do your best. There's nothing wrong with success. There's not even anything wrong with trying to get a raise. There's nothing wrong with that.

The best script in the world doesn't work perfectly when you actually act it out. That's a law. That's a given. So you have to play with everything. And the more fun you have with it, the better the finished product.

I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That's how you know someone is clever. They don't come out and tell you pi to 13 places - they tell you a joke.

I'm a scientist at heart, so I know how important the truth is. However inconvenient, however unattractive, however embarrassing, however shocking, the truth is the truth, and wanting it not to be true doesn't change things.

I don't know what Trump has to do to lose his supporters. It's like a religion. He's a school bully.

When people say to me: would you rather be thought of as a funny man or a great boss? My answer's always the same, to me, they're not mutually exclusive.

There was a nobility in poverty when I was growing up. My mom was poor but she was planting roses and she was cleaning the steps, you know what I mean. You didn't feel sorry for yourself.

I don't do anything for the money.

I went to university with no money. I can't understand a society that wouldn't give a poor person the same opportunity as a rich person.

It's the team that matters. Where would The Beatles be without Ringo. If John got Yoko to play drums the history of music would be completely different.

My philosophy? Have a laugh for as long as you can and don't get run over. Or stabbed.

Enjoy life. Have fun. Be kind. Have worth. Have friends. Be honest. Laugh. Die with dignity. Make the most of it. It's all we've got.

If there is a God, why did he make me an atheist?

Whether you understand they evolved over billions of years or believe that a God made them all one afternoon, please be kind to animals.

I'd like to thank God for making me an atheist.

It's a privilege to be in such a great category of people and... I don't believe in God, so I'd like to thank dogs. Dogs have given me everything.

Atheism is the lack of belief in a god (or gods). It makes no claim. It merely rejects the claim that a god (or gods) exists. Nothing more.

When someone thanks God, I don't get offended.

Thank you God for making me an atheist.

Most people sitting at home aren't cool, successful, witty Hollywood stars, but they all worry about what people think of them when they faux pas.

I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens.

If you can't joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what's the point of jokes? What's the point in having humor? Humor is to get us over terrible things.

A joke isn't yours. It's used and you don't know where it's been.