Quotes from Martha Beck

Anger elicits anger, fear elicits fear, no matter how well meaning we may be.

Children who assume adult responsibilities feel old when they're young.

My own nature hovers between neurotic and paranoid. I've developed the habit of mentally listing things that make me optimistic about the future. I do it every day.

We evolved to move and to learn with all our five senses!

Realizing that we've surrendered our self-esteem to others and choosing to be accountable for our own self-worth would mean absorbing the terrifying fact that we're always vulnerable to pain and loss.

Our thoughts about an event can have a dramatic effect on how we go through the event itself. When our expectations are low, it's easy to be pleasantly surprised. When they're not, we're vulnerable to painful disappointment. Because of this, many people spend a good deal of effort trying to avoid developing high hopes about anything.

Fact: From quitting smoking to skiing, we succeed to the degree we try, fail, and learn. Studies show that people who worry about mistakes shut down, but those who are relaxed about doing badly soon learn to do well. Success is built on failure.

Once we're willing to confront our emotional suffering, we begin making choices based on attraction instead of aversion, love instead of fear. Where we used to think about what was 'safe,' we now become interested in doing what seems right or fun or meaningful or ripe with possibilities.

If you're religious, it gives you a perspective.

I cannot count the times I've been defeated, humiliated, or physically injured immediately after saying the words, 'Hey, how hard can it be?' But that never seems to stop me from saying them again.

Bracketing has turned all my experiences, remembered and present, into a gallery of miracles where I wander around dazzled by the beauty of events I cannot explain.

I've never understood why some people hesitate before diving into unfamiliar tasks or activities. I couldn't imagine wanting more instructions about anything.

What laughter is to childhood, sex is to adolescence.

You shine for who you are ... because no one can steal your light.

Given the eclectic and constantly shifting nature of my metaphysical inclinations, I will probably never feel certain exactly what an angel is.

You're exactly where you're meant to be, meandering along a crooked path.

During the times we think we're being "unproductive," the seeds of new worlds are germinating within us, and they need peace to grow.

I majored in Chinese. I was never really good at Chinese but I really, really benefited from having been exposed to Asian philosophy early in my life.

No matter how difficult and painful it may be, nothing sounds as good to the soul as the truth.

If we're stuck with having expectations, there's a very good reason to embrace positive ones: It's that we often create what we anticipate.

Good fortune has side effects.

A true leader is not someone who feels fully informed but someone who continuously receives insight and guidance.

If you're living completely on your own, break out of solitary confinement. Seek to understand others, and help them understand you.

Remember, intimacy increases with honesty. Share less to keep people away and more to draw them closer.