Quotes from Martha Beck

We virtually never feel our age, but thinking that we should can lead to disaster.

Allowing children to show their guilt, show their grief, show their anger, takes the sting out of the situation.

My own nature hovers between neurotic and paranoid. I've developed the habit of mentally listing things that make me optimistic about the future. I do it every day.

Bracketing has turned all my experiences, remembered and present, into a gallery of miracles where I wander around dazzled by the beauty of events I cannot explain.

Whether you've seen angels floating around your bedroom or just found a ray of hope at a lonely moment, choosing to believe that something unseen is caring for you can be a life-shifting exercise.

Denial exists because human infants, though equipped with trust-o-meters, are built to trust, blindly and absolutely, any older person who wanders past.

Absolutely lonely people have few personal interactions of any kind.

In one century, we've added 28 years to our average life span - a change so rapid that our brains couldn't possibly have evolved to accommodate it.

Good-looking individuals are treated better than homely ones in virtually every social situation, from dating to trial by jury.

People are so afraid of authority figures and doctors are authority figures.

Anything you're trying to will is focused on the future it's always associated with some sort of anxiety that makes the present moment somewhat uncomfortable.

My point is that perceptual bias can affect nut jobs and scientists alike. If we hold too rigidly to what we think we know, we ignore or avoid evidence of anything that might change our mind.

No one else can take risks for us, or face our losses on our behalf, or give us self-esteem. No one can spare us from life's slings and arrows, and when death comes, we meet it alone.

The position that I take partly as a result of living in Asia is where you stop living according to your expectations and you become available to experience things as they are.

Anger elicits anger, fear elicits fear, no matter how well meaning we may be.

The way that other people judge me is none of my business.

Emotional discomfort, when accepted, rises, crests and falls in a series of waves. Each wave washes a part of us away and deposits treasures we never imagined. Out goes naivete, in comes wisdom; out goes anger, in comes discernment; out goes despair, in comes kindness. No one would call it easy, but the rhythm of emotional pain that we learn to tolerate is natural, constructive and expansive... The pain leaves you healthier than it found you.

Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.

Imagine what you'd do if it absolutely didn't matter what people thought of you. Got it? Good. Never go back.

Angels come in many shapes and sizes, and most of them are not invisible.

If anything is worth doing, it is worth doing it badly.

If you see failure as a monster stalking you, or one that has already ruined your life, take another look. That monster can become a benevolent teacher, opening your mind to successes you cannot now imagine.

The end goal of all of this striving is to live joyfully, and that there are often more direct ways of achieving this than conforming to rigid standards set by social custom.

Try seeing your world and yourself this way, eyes open to whatever is before you, mind free of dichotomies. Are you good or bad, fragile or tough, wise or foolish? Yes. And so am I.