Quotes from Martha Beck

True freedom starts with absolute honesty. The moment you call a problem by its real name, you're already learning how to make it less harmful.

Instead of hiding your loneliness, bring it into the light. Honor it. Treat it. Heal it. You'll find that it returns the favor.

People don't cry when they lose their hope. They cry when they get it back.

Don't expect the future to look like the past. Clear away expectations, and let yourself picture a wild, grand new world.

If anything is worth doing, it is worth doing it badly.

I'm not saying we have power over everything in our lives - if that were true, my hair would look so, so different - but I am saying that there's no circumstance in which we are completely powerless.

I practice staying calm all the time, beginning with situations that aren't tense.

I am bewildering you a little. Just enough to help you forget what you came to believe, so that you can remember what you've always known.

All mental hygiene is based on the core practice of doing nothing. Most of us are good at wasting time, staring at the wall while telling ourselves we should be working. We call this doing nothing, but our brains are furiously active. We think constantly, and our thinking is often rife with distress.

I suggest Substituting Inedible Nurturance, or SIN. Don't replace overeating with virtuous work or exercise; instead, make a list of things you love, from watching TV to hanging out with favorite people.

As soon as you think you know someone else's truth better than they do, you are in deep water.

What happens when we're willing to feel bad is that, sure enough, we often feel bad - but without the stress of futile avoidance. Emotional discomfort, when accepted, rises, crests, and falls in a series of waves. Each wave washes parts of us away and deposits treasures we never imagined.

The way we do anything is the way we do everything.

My point is that perceptual bias can affect nut jobs and scientists alike. If we hold too rigidly to what we think we know, we ignore or avoid evidence of anything that might change our mind.

When you do the thing you fear, the thing loses its power to scare.

The power to bring me out of solitude - or to push me back into it - had never belonged to another person. It was mine and only mine.

The moment we begin tolerating meanness, in ourselves and others, we are using our authorial power in the service of wrongdoing. We have both the capacity and the obligation to do better.

It's only by starting in a place of peace that we find our purpose and power.

There are several ways to mess up your life by fighting to make your calendar age match your felt age. I live in the Southwest, a part of the country with more than its share of fair skies, material wealth, and people who are trying not to be as old as they are.

My dog has the intellectual capacity of a lime wedge, yet even he possesses an elaborate set of assumptions, based on his ability to control my behavior through a combination of slavish devotion and incessant howling.

Every day brings new choices.

Do whatever it takes to convey your essential self.

The knowledge of your destiny is available to you, well before it actually happens, as a message streaming continuously from your heart to your brain, written in the language of longing.

Learning to spot narcissists and deal with their destructive behavior can save you the world of hurt that awaits anyone who mistakes the near enemy for a friend.