Quotes from Jean Kerr

Nobody ever wrote better about domestic things than Robert Benchley.

Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn't permanent.

It's easier to write about what you know. I wouldn't write about a Wall Street broker, for example.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Years ago when a man began to notice that if he stood up on the subway he was immediately replaced by two people, he figured he was getting too fat.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

There is this to be said about having money. You get rejected by a higher class of people.

Some enterprising youth should go from door to door on Christmas morning peddling batteries.

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

Now the thing about having a baby — and I can't be the first person to have noticed this — is that thereafter you have it.

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.

I think success has no rules, but you can learn a great deal from failure.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out.

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself — like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck-if you survive you start looking very carefully to the right and left.

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living.

Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.