Quotes from John Bishop

As soon as I speak, I think people go, 'Well, he obviously must have grown up on a council estate, gone to a comprehensive school and be working class - so I can relate to him.'

Comedy is counseling.

Brexit - I was sick of it when it was all happening. It's off the news now, but when Covid settles down it will just come back again.

I don't sit at home and craft a joke.

I think there's more to be happy about than sad about on a daily basis.

I have fond memories of the Grand National, but in recent years, as I have become more committed to animal welfare, I have grown increasingly uncomfortable about an event that every year results in the deaths of horses.

One of my sons has a tattoo on his ankle that was meant to be Africa but looks like Australia, one of my sons mumbles, and one of my sons is a gay man. I'll be honest, there's been loads of nights when me and my wife have sat up and worried and worried and worried, 'What are we going to do if he doesn't stop mumbling?'

When I took my kids to see the house that we're buying I took them in the car to the estate I grew up on. I got the kids out of the car and explained that this is where they're from.

I do get propositions, but you can't take it serious. I'm in me mid-forties, I've got teenage kids - there's no way I'm going to be caught in a Jacuzzi with some girl out of 'The Only Way Is Essex.'

Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day.

When people have a public profile, for whatever reason, nine times out of 10, it's an interesting journey that they've been on to get there.

Being a family man has been the most rewarding and the most disappointing thing I have done in my life.

I am in my late 40s now, so I wake up fatter than when I went to bed.

You have to spend four hours filming a 30-minute program. That seems mental to me.

I have the same mates I always had, I go to the same pub. I've got the same wife and kids and the same house. Nothing's changed.

I just don't think it's acceptable that any animal should lose its life in pursuit of entertainment, which is also why I believe all blood sports should be banned.

I can be a little bit of a control freak.

In 2006, I left my job in sales and marketing to go full-time as a comedian, and I started off doing panto at the Lowry in Manchester.

When I go out with my mates I'm never the centre of attention. Most of them, and they're probably right, keep telling me they're funnier than I am and I'm nicking their life.

I go out with my mates and after a drink they'll ask, 'How are you a comedian? You're not the funniest among us,' And they're right - I'm not even the funniest in our house.

As a child I qualified for free school meals, so I know I would have been in one of the families that needed help to gain access to a laptop.

To me comedy is like being a magician, once they know the rabbit is coming out of the hat they won't care.

Often you'd find yourself exhausted backstage during a matinee with glitter on your face, asking a colleague, 'Who's your gas supplier?' At the time, I thought, 'This would make a brilliant TV comedy drama.'

My generation are the neurotic ones. Therapists' offices all over the world are full of patients blaming their parents for their own failings.