Quotes from John Bishop

I think there's a thin line between pathos and comedy, and I'm not afraid of putting my heart on my sleeve.

It's very gratifying sometimes to make yourself the butt of the joke because it bursts your bubble.

As a father I can't imagine the pain of digging my own child's grave.

I don't regard myself as big time.

If you have three children under the age of four, as I did, you have to make choices, because you cannot hold hands with all of them.

My job is trying to make people laugh. A room full of people laughing forget their worries, their issues, that's why I find it so joyful.

You know what I mean, I'm not Tom Cruise. I can act as long as the character happens to look and sound a lot like me.

Comic Relief funds projects that help lift people out of poverty.

Imagine growing up never feeling loved by your family - the most basic of human needs.

There was a deficit between what I was earning and what my family needed to live off. I was resigned to the fact that, while I may do the odd night, I was going to have to get a proper job.

I'm the type of bloke who gets a flatpack cabinet from Ikea, puts it together without reading the instructions, then gets the drill out because the holes are in the wrong place.

I would never claim to be an actor as I have never had any training and apart from being in a panto, before 'Skins' I had not acted.

'Skins' was a fun role and I enjoyed it.

I don't think interviewing people is any different than normal communication.

If Jimmy McGovern knocks and you are offered a part, you don't say, 'can I ease myself into it?'

I left the school sixth form after the first day because they wouldn't let me wear jeans and I couldn't go home and ask for money for trousers.

I 100 percent do not see myself as the new Piers Morgan!

We live on a two week cycle in our house so if I go away for two weeks, it's too long. And if I'm home for two weeks, it's too long.

I was right in the middle of a story and leading to a punch line and then I just heard 'John John' and I just looked around. I could see someone in the shadows walking forward and he said 'John I can't find me seat lad, d'ya know where me seat is?' I looked at him and it was my uncle Dave.

What I found absolutely the best thing about comedy is it's a little club. You find yourself part of this strange needy society of people who want to go on stage and make people happy.

My loyalty starts and ends at my front door.

What made me a comedian was staying on the stage and starting to talk.

When I was 10 I had a bone disease called osteomyelitis; they said if they didn't operate, I had 24 hours to live.

When I started doing arenas, because of the screens, I was back to getting the reaction of a very small room. If I say something and raise my eyebrow, everyone sees it. So people were laughing at the subtleties that they weren't getting in the theatres. It was really strange.