Quotes from Russell Howard

I don't want to be one of those comics who says, 'Hey, what's wrong with air travel?' and stuff like that.

I bought my mum a car, and I bought my brother one of those hoverboards for Christmas, and I bought my family a holiday to Australia.

Most comics' first gig is either brilliant or horrific.

If you want any attention in the Howard household, you have to shout quite loudly and try to develop a personality.

Death by rats would be the worst.

At a gig in Liverpool I had this lady give me 21 cup cakes she had made herself. It's not really rock'n'roll is it? Tom Jones gets pants thrown at him and I get given fairy cakes.

Tommy Tiernan is an Irish comic who I believe is one of the finest in the world.

Everything I experience in life, I put through the sausage-maker that is comedy, and then try to make it funny for others. Whether that is healthy or not remains to be seen.

I would just like to be remembered.

I broke my wrist on TV trying to do a one-armed push-up. A lot of people delight in pointing this out to me.

There's a club called Headliners in Chiswick where I do a lot of my warmups for tours. For me it's a nice 'big-small' room: it's a 300 seater, which feels small but you can still get big laughs.

I'm a very early riser on holiday. I am invariably down at the pool on a sun lounger even before anyone can put a towel on one.

I buy a lot of Liverpool trinkets. I've got Philippe Coutinho's boot - I spent three grand on that. Which, you know, is insane. But it's Philippe Coutinho's boot, what you gonna do?

I've reached the age of 32 with little wisdom, I'm afraid. It's tragic. I still have to turn to my mum and dad for every decision I make in life.

When you see the American chat shows, they've got so many ideas about what they could with the guests. I did stand-up on 'Jimmy Fallon' and they had loads of sketches and ideas, we don't tend to do that here.

I think you just have to be comfortable in your own skin, and when I do stand-up or the show I'm in a really good mood.

I've been doing stand-up for 15 years and I've never even been invited to the Comedy Awards! How mental is that?

Whenever I come to Ireland, I end up just bantering with the crowd so the show will just be what it is.

I'd been writing jokes since I was 16, not very good ones though, but I was always trying to make my mates laugh.

I'm one of the people who actually laughs at everyone else's jokes!

I buck the trend: I eat avocados on a Sunday morning and I'm a homeowner.

Inner child, what do you suggest? 'I WANT A TREEHOUSE!' Anything else to add? 'FARTY NOISE UNDER THE ARM!'

Sometimes I skip breakfast, pop to the butcher and get sunburned while cooking meat.

My life is quite normal and for me it helps with my comedy. If you jump headlong into celebrity life it affects who you are and what you talk about.