Quotes from Noel Fielding

Last time you bring me pie, I cut into it, with my tiny pie cutter, and millions of birds flew out hitting me in the eyes and the temples... it was a trick pie!

Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with a small Indian boy.

Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith.

I find it depressing that people think you have to be on drugs to watch [my stuff], that's a cop out, use your brain, use your imagination.

When people come to see you, they know what you do. That's what they want. They want it to be quite English; they don't want to watch an English bloke trying to fit in. They want it to be quintessentially English in the way that Ricky Gervais is rude to people at the Golden Globes.

The film-maker Alejandro Jodorowsky - his films are hard to watch - they're so dense and rich - but they're probably the best things ever made. And Spike Milligan, who was light years ahead of the rest - I played some of his stuff to Jack Black once. He'd never heard of him, so watching him listen to Spike for the first time was just hilarious.

You can't please all of the people all of the time; you can only please some of the people some of the time.

The combination of us two was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. You meet someone, and you just work, you have chemistry on stage, and writing.

There's a little pond near my house, and I see two swans there all the time who are obviously in love. But they look like the same bird, so I don't know if they're male or female, but they're definitely in love.

I hated school, so when I got to this place with other people who could draw and were interested in wearing makeup, it was amazing.

Comedians are ridiculously oversensitive, so, especially with the Internet, you feel everything, like a spider on a web going, 'Oh God, I'm getting stomped'.

Kids feel like they can approach me, which is nice. I've created this character who's like a child-man.

When I was at art college, a can of Spray Mount adhesive cost £12: £2 more than my weekly food bill.

I'll be seen as eccentric, like Vic Reeves or Spike Milligan, which would be amazing. But I suppose I'm in this weird transitional period between having some success doing weird stuff and not being eccentric yet. I'm in limbo.

I've got quite a strong drive, and that can be slightly deplorable. Struggling to become a famous comedian - there's something weird about that.

I wanted to create the weirdest show ever made on television - a punky, prog-rock nightmare of lurid colours.

Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.

People keep asking me if the Boosh is coming back, and I say, 'I hope so.' I'm not bothered people ask me about it. TV's become quite disposable, so to make something that lasts a bit of time - it won't last forever - is quite nice.

Fame is a bit Nietzschean. For everything good, something bad happens to you, so you have to sort of be careful.

I believe in fate. I didn't set out to be a comedian at first. I'm still not sure if I am or not.

I make an all right Bowie. Actually, I look more like Cilla Black with that wig.

I think I'm constantly surprised that adults can't deal with illogical things or thing that are weird or psychedelic. I've never really lost that.

The Boosh was cult, but then it crossed over a bit, which we needed it to, because we were working on it full time, and it needed to go mainstream so we could keep making material.

When we went to America, Robin Williams came to the gig, and Mike Myers had lunch with us and wanted to write a film for us. We're idiots - we turned it down. I think we were just sick of each other at that point. When you get famous, it takes some time to realise it isn't going to be good.