Quotes from Noel Fielding

I actually went to Wimbledon, and David Attenborough was sat in the row in front of me, and I thought that was quite amazing. That's insane, isn't it? He's, like, a proper person.

I'd rather do smaller theaters, because it's more fun for the audience and more fun for me. I like to build up demand.

I was in a band with a boy who was quite androgynous and a bit bisexual, and we used to play up to that a little bit to be provocative in a theatrical way, but I guess you either are or aren't.

I bought two sculptures of two baboons called Lord and Lady Muck on an antique piece of furniture from an art exhibition, and it was quite expensive. It was very expensive, actually - way too expensive.

I get more work when I'm thinner. I was playing Alice Cooper, and I had to lose a stone, so I wasn't eating sugar. You can't just get straight back onto sugar, as it's quite a powerful thing.

People said, 'You must be mad, or on drugs,' which I found a bit disappointing. What about imagination? It reflects our time that people sooner assume you're on drugs or mad, rather than free.

I still feel about 22. I don't understand, actually. I mean, as I got older, I thought there would be things like, 'I need a house now', 'I need kids', 'I need a licence to drive', but I have never really had that happen. I guess that forms part of my appeal for the people who like the stuff I do: I'm not a real person - I'm a gypsy.

I was quite a shy kid, but I was quite funny at school, and I was really into art. In our class, there were two of us who were good at drawing, and my teacher was like, 'He's going to make a wonderful artist one day, and Noel can make everyone laugh.'

I've got a beautiful kitchen, which looks like a '60s version of space, with silver chrome, orange glass work surfaces, and brown leather, and it's entirely visual and has little function. I've hardly got any knives, and there's only one wooden spoon and one saucepan. But I think I've got a cheese grater, so that's good.

I start getting bored and misbehaving if I don't work hard. It's fine when you're younger - you go out a lot and muck around with your mates and drink and stuff - but I'm a bit over that now.

Fantasy Man's my favourite, I think, because he's sort of like Don Quixote. He lives in a fantasy world, but he gets jolted back into reality, and I guess that's me, really!

I've never been to Hawaii. It looks amazing.

I hate my feet. I don't like my hands, either: they're like lions' paws. When I was in the Boosh, in a catsuit and gold heels, I was constantly thinking, 'I hate the way I look.' I should have just enjoyed myself, because that was as good as it was going to get.

They were too young to be proper parents. They never said, 'You've got to go to bed or you'll be tired for school'. They didn't mind - they let me stay up.

I quite like bacon sandwiches because they're colourful. Mashed potato on toast is fine. But colourful and easy to eat is best.

I always had a sort of niggling regret that we didn't come do stuff in America.

I've been writing the show with Nigel Coan, the director of 'Luxury Comedy', and Tom Meeten. Three's good. With two, you can lock horns a bit. On your own, you're not sure whether what you've made is any good. I don't know how people write novels. I would go mad.

There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo.

I've got this rep as a party boy, but the only show I've ever missed was when I had food poisoning from an Australian duck curry. I was puking buckets.

I started writing sketches when I was 13. I liked Vic Reeves, Fry and Laurie, and Paul Merton, and I thought you could just send sketches to the BBC, and they'd go, 'Great. We'll put these on telly.' But I gradually realised that you either had to go to university and join a club, or do standup.

People like to put you a box. I've always been the wrong shape. Maybe you are, too. I think all the people who are wrong shapes for boxes should go out and march into the streets singing, 'We are the shapes! We don't fit the box.'

The Goons were always one of our favourites; we always felt we were in that tradition - Goons, Monty Python, Peter Cook, Vic and Bob, Spike Milligan. We felt we were part of that lineage, but in England, it wasn't happening like that. There was a brand of comedy like 'The Office,' which was very real.

When I was 11, I was with my cousin in a scrapyard; there were three trains on top of each other, and we climbed up to the top. It was really high, and I nearly fell off, but my cousin grabbed the back of my shirt.

I've always had a good imagination. If I saw a sitcom, and everything was made out of cheese, I wouldn't go 'What?' I wouldn't get angry. I'd think, 'Right, OK, all cheese? Amazing.'