Quotes from Don Rickles

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while, I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

Compared to what some of the young comics use for material today, I'm a priest.

I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big estate.

Nobody ever dared with Frank, because he had such mood swings, and you never knew how he was going to react. But I could tell the minute I saw him that he was going to be in my corner.

To this day, if you gave me $1,000, I really can't stand up - You can tell a joke. You're a good storyteller and a good joke teller.

We were Orthodox Jews, but we really didn't deserve it. I mean, bacon - my father said, 'Don't put bacon in the house,' but we had bacon. We didn't keep kosher. And we observed which today would be Conservative Jews. But in those days, we belonged to an Orthodox temple. So we made out we were Orthodox Jews, but we really weren't.

Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood.

I do situations and make fun of authority and life.

When I was a younger guy doing comedy, it was a big struggle. Promoters canceled me out of clubs left and right when I called somebody a dummy or a yo-yo. Then they realized I was different.

Why should I retire? I'm like a fighter. The bell rings, and you come out and fight.

You know how a fighter always comes into the dressing room way before a fight? That's me - I'm like a fighter.

Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.

You got to have a lot of courage. Secondly, whatever it is you're doing, you have to believe in it wholeheartedly. Thirdly, you have to be able to stand up in front of people and know that they'll laugh.

At 90, I'm still working a couple of dates a month. My mind is very sharp on the stage, so why not? This may sound corny, but I do it because people - young and old - still come to see me, and they're very enthusiastic about my work. They treat me like the Godfather.

Girls were scared of me because I can be loud. Barbara, my wife of 51 years, is very low-key. She was my picture agent's secretary.

The girls, like, in we'll say Hooters, have less clothing than the girls I worked with in those days. We thought it was wild when they just wore little bells and so forth. But today, in restaurants, some of the waitresses almost work in the nude, you know, to get business.

My main success was an attitude. Always an attitude.

Whatever you do to gain success, you have to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think positive.

When I got out of high school, I wanted to be an actor but was getting a lot of rejections. I was getting rejected by life. My mother, God rest her soul, told me not to quit.

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.

To me, the stand up part in my life is great. I know I can do that. When I get an acting chance, I'm really thrilled.

I couldn't sell air conditioners on a 98-degree day. When I demonstrated them in a showroom, I pushed the wrong button and blew the circuit.

I always say, when you're onstage you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner.

I never went out looking for glory.