Quotes from Don Rickles

When I walk down the street in New York, I swear to God, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, 'Hey, you hockey puck!'

I shouldn't make fun of the blacks: President Obama is a personal friend of mine. He was over to the house yesterday, but the mop broke.

The inaugural of Ronald Reagan, with Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. And that was the greatest thing. Ronald Reagan and George Bush. That was - I still remember like it was yesterday.

I'm a New Yorker, originally. I was raised in Jackson Heights. I went to P.S. 148 and then Newtown High School. If World War II didn't come, I'd still be there in school. World War II saved me.

My mother was a big influence. She kept pushing me because I was very shy and inhibited. And schoolwork was very difficult for me because I couldn't concentrate. I was failing almost every subject. To this day, I'm not too good at reading a book. But I was the president of my high school comedy group, and they treated me like a king.

Johnny Carson was king of the kings, in my opinion.

I'd like to think my performance is today. I never try to - it's so, as you know, watching me, I have a beginning, middle and ending. But every night the show changes and I relate to an audience and I relate to the young people.

Herb Solo at that time was the head of MGM. I said, 'I want to live like Clint Eastwood.' Did I know at that time Clint Eastwood, to him, Heaven was a truck, a dog, and a picnic basket for food or something?

Room service is great if you want to pay $500 for a club sandwich.

Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.

Among my friends, I'm not a little Boy Scout, and they love my humor, thank God.

I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it.

I don't say I was the first, because, who knows, maybe there was a guy out in Minnesota doing it before me.

Struggling is hard because you never know what's at the end of the tunnel.

I write my own tweets.

I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies.

My life was in Montreal years ago. Best food in the world.

Women were afraid of me, they were scared to death. But I always say be yourself, if you're funny then let your sense of humor go there. I mean there's no sense hiding what you feel.

Every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I'm always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I'm not going to offend!

The man I adored, and miss him terribly, was Johnny Carson.

Even when I was in high school and the Navy, I was the guy who could rip somebody, and they'd laugh at it.

Being in the Navy, when I came home, it changed your whole life. You're 18, you go away for two and a half years, you come home - boy, you're a different person.

Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.

Compared to what comics say today, I'm a monk, but in those days, it was unheard of to make fun of people like I did. Of course, they exaggerated how outrageous I really was.