Quotes from Mindy Kaling

If I sound bitter, that's because I'm still a little bitter.

I've enjoyed an endless supply of free paper, paperclips, envelopes, and office supplies since joining The Office, because I steal props on a regular basis.

The first thing you need to know is that the hair on your head is worthless. The color, the length, the thickness, everything. You will never see anyone on TV sporting their own God-given hair, unless it's on, like, a sad miniseries about factory workers in East Germany. The same goes for hair color. Yes, your natural color may be appropriate for your skin tone, but this isn't the land of appropriate—this is Hollywood, baby.

It wasn't until later that I realized Paul's quietness was a result of his confidence. He didn't need to shout to be heard.

My theory is that this is because there's a huge overlap between people who are good at Frisbee and people who do Teach for America. The same instinct to make at-risk kids learn, which I admire so much, becomes deadly when turned on friends trying to relax on a Sunday afternoon in the park.

I love romantic comedies. I feel almost sheepish writing that, because the genre has been so degraded in the past twenty years or so that admitting you like these movies is essentially an admission of mild stupidity. But that has not stopped me from watching them.

They gave you that trophy so you wouldn't feel bad, not because you deserved it. You should know the difference.

Women always take bad behavior by men and twist it to make it so it's somehow our fault, not theirs. It makes more sense to us that we're somehow wrong than the possibility that a man is being rude.

I lost my mind. I lunged at him and inhaled all of his fries standing up a foot away from the trash can. No food is as delicious as food you eat standing a foot away from a trash can. Ask any possum.

the Yankees were playing my hometown Red Sox on TV and I lost my cool at a guy who was loudly dissing them. I yelled, "Derek Jeter is baseball's Hitler!" This was in New York City. In a room full of Jewish sports fans. I don't even really like baseball that much! I have problems.

I have a complicated relationship with my body. ... I thought of it as the vehicle that carried me to and from places my brain wants to go, like my car.

Once, while living in New York City in the early 2000s, I was asked to leave a sports bar because the Yankees were playing my hometown Red Sox on TV and I lost my cool at a guy who was loudly dissing them. I yelled, "Derek Jeter is baseball's Hitler!

Maybe you accidentally bought this thinking it was the Malala book.

As it is, I guess I find "Jack & Diane" a little disgusting. As a child of immigrant professionals, I can't help but notice the wasteful frivolity of it all.

I don't really like organizations where people are "deemed" things.

When smart people are nice, it's always terrifying, because I know they're taking in everything and thinking all kinds of smart and potentially judgmental things.

I had read the baby books, of course, but could remember literally nothing but one fact: "babies are born without kneecaps." What the hell was I supposed to do with that information?

want a guy who is a feminist, someone who knows that all that means is that men and women are equal. A man who admires strong women, like Hillary Clinton or Ruth Bader Ginsburg. But not that really accomplished woman from his office who seems cool and put-together. I don't mean her. I'd like him to resent her irrationally, actually. I mean older, strong women in the theoretical.

The key to maximizing this perception is making sure you make lots of angry and tense phone calls while your clothes are being measured.

Note: if you want to seem like a super-creepy person, be an adult, by yourself, taking photos of children and people on a beach.

He had some very specific notes he wanted me to address. The notes were about making sure that the character of Danny Castellano was strong and masculine. He didn't want my character to outsmart him and push him around.

Gregor would reference all kinds of books and articles, and instead of paraphrasing them, like any normal lazy person, he'd insist on going online and finding the exact line or quote from the secondary source, adding another five-minute silent section to the meeting, during which he wordlessly surfed online. Later I would realize this is Greg''s signature style. He likes to take in people past the point where they can be putting on a show to impress him.

Which is why you need the tiniest bit of bravery. People get scared when you try to do something, especially when it looks like you're succeeding. People do not get scared when you're failing. It calms them.

He likes to take in people past the point where the can be putting on a show to impress him.