Quotes from Limmy

One thing I like to do is visit technical forums and ask for help regarding an entirely fictitious problem I'm having with my software. When I receive help, I say, 'Nope. Didn't work.' If they guide me to a button to click, I say, 'Nope. Can't see it.' Sometimes I just reply with nothing but 'Nope,' and it drives them up the wall.

I don't want Scotland to be more important than England. There's just a cancer of low self-esteem in Scotland and a general feeling that if we were to break away it would be game over and we would be bankrupt. If that is the case then that's exactly what we should do. Why are we, a country that would be bankrupt, leaching off another one?

People say 'Limmy's Show' is kind of hit or miss, but I'd rather that than having something generally likable.

The only thing I worry about over-sharing is boring people.

My name is Brian and I am a troll. An internet troll.

There used to be such a thing as a sick joke, or laughing at misfortune, because comedy and laughter are a way of coping. And there is a kind of cruelty to it, but you can separate finding something horrible funny, and what you really think of it.

I get a lot of ideas sitting in the living room staring at the walls or lying in bed thinking about things.

I was asked before to go out on '8 out of 10 Cats,' and I've been asked to go on 'Question Time,' I said to no to that. I don't see myself coming across well on that sort of thing.

I'm always checking other people's opinions.

There's nothing quite like sitting watching the telly on a Saturday night. It has such a nice, homely feel.

I actually don't have a lot of faith in comedy.

I felt I was a bit switched off for years, not really caring about things. I don't know if that's depression or whatever, but I was thinking 'I might. Aye I will. No, I willnae' as far as getting a second series goes.

I never made my website to try and get anywhere, it was just a laugh.

With my upbringing and where I grew up, people slagged people. If you slagged them, they'd slag you back... I know it pales in comparison to genuine issues that people have got, but I've had people slagging my stuff off on my blog and my website for years.

I write in quite a simple way because that's just the way I write. The vocab I use is quite wee. That's just the way I talk.

I like wee arguments, I've never been into jokes. I'm more into strange things and madness and things escalating and things not really making sense.

Daft Wee Stories' is, as the title says, daft wee stories. I just sort of rattled them out, tried to make them quite funny, with punchlines - they're kind of like sketches.

I would rather there's somebody who is just a wee bit down in the dumps believing that they've got depression and going to the doctor and getting it checked out, than not, I'd rather that everybody was given the benefit of the doubt.

When I was wee, in the middle of the summer, the big field behind the shops would be filled with dry grass and I'd get a box of matches. You chuck one match on that and the whole thing goes up in flames. Twitter's a bit like that. You can just say one thing and it explodes from there.

You can get too involved with all the wee things in life, but the most important thing is you're alive and well.

I've always had something a wee bit up with me, but I think it's some kind of learning difficulty. It's always been something.

I've never cooked a great meal.

I think trolling is a sort of art form, a bit of a craft.

I do like crossing moral boundaries.