Quotes from Terry Pratchett

She was convinced that she was anorexic, because every time she looked in the mirror she did indeed see a fat person.

Modesty is only arrogance by stealth.

Never trust a species that grins all the time. It's up to something.

Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.

Most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally evil, but by people being fundamentally people.

The disc, being flat, has no real horizon. Any adventurous sailor who got funny ideas from staring at eggs and oranges for too long and set out for the antipodes soon learned that the reason why distant ships sometimes looked as though they were disappearing over the edge of the world was that they were disappearing over the edge of the world.

He said that there was death and taxes, and taxes was worse, because at least death didn't happen to you every year.

Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book.

One day all of us will die but - and this is the important thing - we are not dead yet.

Let grammar, punctuation, and spelling into your life! Even the most energetic and wonderful mess has to be turned into sentences.

You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.

You just put that sword away, sir, please, said the voice of Lance-Constable Vimes. You will not shoot me, you young idiot. That would be murder, said the captain calmly. Not where I'm aiming, sir.

Do you know how wizards like to be buried? Yes! Well, how? Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs. Reluctantly.

We're dealing here, said Vimes, With a twisted mind. Oh, no! You think so? Yes. But... no... you can't be right. Because Nobby was with us all the time. Not Nobby, said Vimes testily. Whatever he might do to a dragon, I doubt if he'd make it explode. There's stranger people in this world than Corporal Nobbs, my lad. Carrot's expression slid into a rictus of intrigued horror. Gosh, he said.

One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.

Granny Weatherwax, who had walked nightly without fear in the bandit-haunted forests of the mountains all her life in the certain knowledge that the darkness held nothing more terrible than she was...

You haven't really been anywhere until you've got back home.

The trouble with being a god is that you've got no one to pray to.

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.

They'd smash up the world if they thought it would make a pretty noise.

There is no doubt that being human is incredibly difficult and cannot be mastered in one lifetime.

Your own brain ought to have the decency to be on your side!

Humanity's a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there.

Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.