Quotes from Terry Pratchett

BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU'VE GOT, IS THAT THE IDEA? "That's about the size of it, master. A good god line, that. Don't give 'em too much and tell 'em to be happy with it. Jam tomorrow, see." THIS IS WRONG. Death hesitated. I MEAN…IT'S RIGHT TO BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU'VE GOT. BUT YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT HAVING. THERE'S NO POINT IN BEING HAPPY ABOUT HAVING NOTHING.

Inside every lump of coal there's a diamond waiting to get out.

You couldn't say 'I had orders.' You couldn't say 'It's not fair.' No one was listening. There were no Words. You owned yourself. [...] Not 'Thou Shalt Not'. Say 'I Will Not'.

Just imagine how terrible it might have been if we'd been at all competent.

Building a temple didn't mean you believed in gods, it just meant you believed in architecture.

Probably the last man who knew how it worked had been tortured to death years before. Or as soon as it was installed. Killing the creator was a traditional method of patent protection.

Her singing always cheered him up. Life seemed so much brighter when she stopped.

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives.

Hat = wizard, wizard = hat. Everything else is frippery.

In order to have a change of fortune at the last minute, you have to take your fortune to the last minute.

Not for the first time she reflected that there were many drawbacks to being a swordswoman, not least of which was that men didn't take you seriously until you'd actually killed them, by which time it didn't really matter anyway.

On the Disc the gods dealt severely with atheists.

He felt as if he had been shipwrecked on the Titanic, but in the nick of time had been rescued. By the Lusitania.

Voodoo is a very interesting religion for the whole family, even those members of it who are dead.

Vimes had got around to a Clean Desk policy. It was a Clean Floor strategy that eluded him at the moment.

Last night there seemed to be a chance. Anything was possible last night. That was the trouble with last nights. They were always followed by this mornings.

The Departure Aria, a very important and romantic song - This damn door sticks, This damn door sticks It sticks no matter what I do. It is marked 'pull' and indeed I am pulling Perhaps it should be marked 'push'?

Veil, you see, if I vas to say something portentous like zer dark eyes of zer mind back home in Uberwald, zer would be a sudden crash of thunder,' said Otto. 'And if I vas to point at a castle on a towering crag and say Yonder is . . . zer castle a volf would be bound to howl mournfully.' He sighed. 'In zer old country, zer scenery is psychotropic and knows vot is expected of it. Here, alas, people just look at you in a funny vay.

The jurisdiction of a good man extends to the end of the world.

I'VE NEVER BEEN VERY SURE ABOUT WHAT IS RIGHT, said Bill Door. I AM NOT SURE THERE IS SUCH A THING AS RIGHT. OR WRONG. JUST PLACES TO STAND.

This is space. It's sometimes called the final frontier. (Except that of course you can't have a final frontier, because there'd be nothing for it to be a frontier to , but as frontiers go, it's pretty penultimate . . .)

One of the things forgotten about the human spirit is that while it is, in the right conditions, noble and brave and wonderful, it is also, when you get right down to it, only human.

No one remembers the singer. The song remains.

Before you can kill the monster you have to say its name.